I've noticed recently I have seem to reached a pivotal point in my 'game'. For a while now I have been going out sharing some good times with my mates meeting lots of cool and not so cool women and getting various random hook ups in clubs. The problem is to the person outside looking in, what I do might look quite flashy. Grabbing a girl who is walking by and going from not knowing her to tonguing her down is pretty impressive. However, I have been doing some thinking and feel I'm at a cross road. It could be quite easy to sit back and be happy with scoring make outs with random girls each night. You could settle for that and then occasionally when everything is 'right' get a lay from it. The truth is I'm starting to get bored of it, when I first started out just talking to a girl was like 'whoa!' then after a while getting make outs was like 'whoa!' now I'm in the same position again.
What does this signal?
This tells me I'm not really pushing my comfort zone, it's almost like a dual edged sword. On one hand pushing your comfort zone is painful, people generally hate doing it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. But on the other end of the scale, it is what makes this shit so exciting the feeling of unknown, doing something where you have no idea how it is going to turn out. I have identified a few key areas that I need to work on and try and get down in order to push past this point to the next level.
The points are as follows:
* Truly becoming a closer
I know when it is time to close and go for the make out I can do it, there is little hesitation. However, while this is a step to becoming a 'closer' I don't feel it is the complete package. Closing every set should be the frame, if not going for a make out, go for a number close, if no number, facebook. If you've made out and logistics are fucked up, you cannot extract or isolate, go for the number. I don't care if I know it will totally flake, its the actual 'act' of going for it that counts not the number itself. I'm getting something, even if it is some phoney ass digits or facebook because I pissed her off.
* Pushing the Comfort Zone
I have touched on this already, however to add some extra points. I just need to loose control a little more just chill out and not give as much of a fuck. Going direct during the day is a big sticking point that I feel is related to this. This also ties into every other points that I make as essentially they are all tied to pushing your comfort zone.
* Befriend the Room - 'flow'
The concept of flow? At least this is how I view it, warm up sets are old school. Flow is about opening the entire room. As soon as you step in the venue open everything as you walk to your destination. That fuck off 10 mixed set, the two girls stood at the table on the right. The chode day dreaming on the edge of his social circle. The girl dressed as the fluffy bunny, you get the picture. This is this difference between 'sarging' and just being a social guy, the later trumps the former, at least in my opinion. It also forces you to open a completely different variety of social groups. Again, this pushes your comfort zone, it is easy to get into a habit of only opening groups of girl or '2 sets' because those are what you find easy. One of my best nights recently came from befriending chodes and throwing them in sets.
* Plow
Plow everything! From the opener, plow, going for the close, plow, isolation, plow, extraction, plow. My new mentality is if they don't tell me to A) "Fuck off" or B) physically push me away or slap me I'm staying in there. An example was last night, this girl was taking the piss out of our dance moves so I start chatting to her, to her dissatisfaction. She kept pulling faces at me of disgust and in a joking manner showed me the door. I stayed put, hip checked her, she complied, the claw was all up on her shoulder, kinoing, hugging. Even though I thought this girl hated me she never gave me any indication to 'go away'. So I stuck at it, eventually we won her friends over and it was all good vibes.
* Creativity
This is just an icing on the cake, just try and be more creative, not just in what you say to a girl but what you do. I know I have made excuses in the past and just 'dropped' the set or not really pushed it to its potential limit. My excuses blinded my creativity, I could have done something else, it doesn't even have to be outlandish. But just make sure your negative excuses don't cloud your vision and stop you from being creative.
So that is basically it, the next stop is Sweden. This will be a nice break where I can relax and hopefully ironing out the creases in my game and just have an awesome time.
Time to step up!
On a side note some girl did an awesome cold read on me today, I'll post it up later on.
Here it is
Her:
well i think you are very confident especially with the ladies,
u ant the commitment type and would take a very special someone.
u have high standards and live 4 the moment
Me: lol, you're good
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