It's been a while, I don't want to dwell too much on the past but I have to fill you guys in on why I've been away. I ended up getting back to with the girl, man she's dangerous. I've probably said it before but she has too many issues. I'm aware I sound like a hypocrite after the spiel in a few blog posts down, however it was something I had to try, I was promised commitment, instead I got more of the same. To cut the long story short, there was more drama, she said she did not know what she wanted, I had come to the decision this relationship was not healthy for me and decided to cut the chord. I remember having a conversation on facebook with Ryan (you can check his blog on the right 'Ryan the animal' >>>). He had been in a similiar situation and said "she pushes all your buttons but you can't be with her" or something along those lines. It was the truth, she did push all my buttons, she was dangerous. But it has come to an end, this time it IS FOR REAL! lol. I promised Sunnee that that was it. So I'm back in the game for a second time!
This is where the second part of the title comes in, I'm rusty as hell! I've been out only a handful of times and just feel so out of it. I just read the post I titled 'I'm back', I realise I just have to get into talking to people as soon as I enter the bar or club. Otherwise it's lights out, I'm really in the best position I've ever been in, after Prague I knew exactly what I had to do, that information is still there, the calibration is still there, I just have to get into the swing of opening once again. I'm planning on moving to Leeds into the party house, which will make going out even fore a few hours a lot easier allowing me to rebuild that momentum. It's all about recapturing that closer mentality, not endless chodeversation, but willing to get rejected (still my biggest sticking point) leading and demonstrating your sexual intentions. It's all inside of me and I know I've just been getting stuck inside my head and not allowing it out of the cage. I also want to become more independent with this shit, I'm doing it for me, it comes down to me and the girl, no wings etc but more on that in the furture.
London is calling, a weekend away... time to bring it back.
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