2008 round up

Oh that thing... that is my ideal working envirnoment, just a little exercise I have been doing today. All will be revealed in my first blog post of the new year, expected on you guessed it, new years day.

So I was sat in Nando's with my good friend Herle, discussing goals, life and game. I love conversations like these and can sit for hours just thoerising about things. I was discussing how I feel that I am never doing quite enough, like I am not progressing fast enough. Herle stood up and looked out side the window and said "look at these people, they're just stuck in their routine, the fact that you even recognise that you want to progress is more than the majority of these people" (n.b. Those weren't his exact words... but the general gist of what he was saying). And it is generally true, we can get so caught up in growing that we don't stop and look at what we have and where we've come from.

I started listening to 'Six Pillars of Self Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden on audio book. This very thing was a point he raised about people with high esteem, high esteem people appreciate what they have and what they have achieved, they're not constantly striving for something else. Generally the people that are, acquire what they were striving for, but then strive for something else. The result is that they are constantly striving for something, they are never happy with what they have or what they have achieved, they don't take the time to appreciate that, instead they strive for the next sexual adventure, material object or goal. I realised I do this a lot, I can count numerous times I've come back from a night out 'sarging' and felt frustrated because I feel so far away from what I want. Where as when I take a moment to think, two years ago if I would have been happy with the position I'm now in. Which leads me to question, when I get to the point I 'now' feel I want to be in, will I be content? Will I be satisfied? Will that hot blonde be enough?

This post is about 2008... when I look back at it, it was a successful year, at first glance I didn't think it was particularly successful... nor unsuccessful. But when I really thought about it, I appreciate all the experiences I've had this year and all the lessons I've learnt.

- I got to travel to two new places outside of the UK. I visited Sweden and had an absolutely amazing time. The people, the food, the city of Stockholm, the company I had on my journey there and all the jokes we shared. Glorious times! I got to travel to Prague again I had an amazing time, I got to see a city I'd never visited before, while experience some of the local women ;) the local food and party like a rockstar for a week! That's not to mention the countless trips to various cities around the UK to party that I've had this year; Nottingham, last new years when I was hugging a toilet bowl. Newcastle twice!... the Legend that is SUPERSTAR!! and Byker! Liverpool, Turbo heaven... London... the most amazing party of my life...THE RUBBER BALL! Freezing my ass off in Manchester, Preston... getting fro mogged by Ebbi. These are the trips that I do remember and already each one has brought a smile to my face.

- My job, I finally realised what I want to do with my life, job wise. I made that decision and set out a plan to find out as much information on the subject as I could. I started to plan and act towards setting up a career in that field. I set up my own website, although it is not 100% complete it is up and running. I took the action to get my own business card designed. I started to contact a few potential clients. I had my manager recognise my talents at my job, I was promoted to 'platinum sales' after six months at being in my job. I met some incredible people, learnt a lot about fashion and gained a good grounding in the world of fashion and retail. My new manager is badgering me to step up a level again. I applied for the junior management workshop at work. I've sent emails out about internships and potential work experience at companies in my related field.

This was one area of my life I felt I wasn't satisfied with, I felt I was not pulling my weight in. However, after listing all those things I've done and achieved this year, I personally have been quite surprised, it shows that you should appreciate what you achieve and how far you've come. I started out almost exactly a year ago as a Christmas temp... securing the job permenantly was the first achievement, which I never even considered to be an 'achievement' as such. Previously I had hardly any experience in my field and I had relatively little knowledge when I acquired the job other than the will to learn, confidence and work ethic. It is easy to overlook where you have come from and how you have got to where you are at now.

- This is a funny one, women... I've learnt a shed load about game this year, but I feel on a much deeper level. I've learnt a lot about women as opposed to 'game' I've had the privledge of spending time with two quality women, who I thought were both good lucking and a 'step up' so to speak from women I've had in the past. While being with the first girl for approx 6 months in total, I learnt so much about myself. I started realising what it means to be a man, what sort of actions a man takes and how he interacts with women. I learnt a lot more about dealing with women outside the realms of meeting and attracting them in a bar. I learnt about how to interact with them and how to maintain and go about maintaing a relationship with them. I learnt how to be honest and how thinking 'for' them can lead to so many problems and frustrations. I expressed my self honestly and had the confidence to be honest with both myself and them. This has been one HELL of a bumpy ride and has been extremely draining and stressful at times. But I am far richer from the experiences. They have both taught me a lot and continue to do so, that is the beauty of it. I started scrambling in times of doubt for a magic forumla, for a 'way' to find my answer to get what I wanted. But I realised there is no magic forumla, you just roll with it, do what your intuition tells you, appreciate every moment you have with them and take in every lesson learned. The very act of wanting the magic forumla is setting yourself up for failure, when you just let go and not try and force the outcome, while still being in control of your own life then you find that things will start to fall into place. If they don't you win anyway.... you're still breathing.

I could probably ramble on for a lot longer, but I'll save that for 2009. I just wanted to put this post up really for a reminder to myself and a reminder to anyone reading that it is easy to forget about the growing we do as people. Sometimes you have to sit down and appreciate what you have and from where you have come, not getting caught up in the constant strive for more. 

So until 2009.... Peace