M.I.A: Polarity, The Journey & Action

I've been missing in action for a while, in a few different areas. The most obvious is the absence of a blog update since October! I have been quite busy with a number of things, so expect a big post. I'd suggest grabbing a tea, putting on something soulful and getting comfy. I already have...

The first thing I'd like to talk about is 'Game', the longer I'm in the 'community' the further away I feel I drift from it. I've seemed to have developed this feeling that life is far greater than 'game' and when you step back and put it into perspective it doesn't really mean shit. I'm by no means hating on it, I still check in on the community and love the development I've made as a man. I still quest on occasion for 'techniques' and 'theory', by all means to a lesser extent than I have in the past. However, from time to time I go through these phases where it hits me between the eyes that this is not a process of learning, but rather unlearning. Stripping away the layers of social conditioning that have been patched onto you from infancy. An example of this recently was a conversation me and Sunnee were having. This year one of the biggest realisations I've had, courtsey of David X, is how powerful being honest is, especially in the field of relationships and dating. Though, Sunnee and I realised how hard just being honest is. 

Why do we search in our minds during in moment of doubt for something to say to a girl?

Why not just say "I'm trying to think of something to say to you that might impress you, however, you're so stunning, my mind has gone blank". 

You get the drift, something along those lines, whenever I've been honest it has always worked well for me. But I still struggle from time to time thinking of... something to say instead of just letting go and being honest. 

    Another aspect that has made me rethink things has been reading up on masculine polarity, what it means to be a man, but also feminine polarity and 'sex and evolution'. This has highlighted why the game, in my opinion, is about unlearning, it's about getting back in touch with our masculine polarity, stepping up, being a man, having some balls in a world where so many men are happy to let society push them around and emasculate them.  This has helped me a great deal in understanding women, I don't feel you can ever understand them fully, but I am recognising more and more what they are doing and why they are that way. While I my dislike the nature of the feminine, in certain situations, the more I understand it, the less I get frustrated by their way.

   Observation... surrounding yourself with 'normal' people. What I mean by this is, there are a lot of community guys that are straight up weird. They are so sucked into the whole community that it engulfs them, everything seems to get analysed, broken down and complex. When you're a part of this world, you don't even realise what is happening. You then hang out or surround yourself with normal, social, cool people. You realise that some of these guys are getting laid more than your community friends who can break down an approach and know EXACTLY what to do and could point it out and explain how to do it, if ever called upon to do so. 

 This shit baffled me... why is that the case? I'm still not 100% certain on this. I guess part of it is because we OVER COMPLECATE things, where as these guys don't. Not to discredit 'game' totally, without it some of us guys wouldn't even be able to get anywhere near a girl. But after we have a small amount of theory this should be more than enough to go out there and kill it.

    This really hit me when I was thinking about a guy at work, how he has been at work half the time I've been there and fucked two hot girls. Not that I'm actively trying to fuck all my co-workers, but it just highlighted the issue I can break down an interaction but cannot put that theory into practice consistantly. I'm also starting to meet girls who are telling me about guys they are friends with, that have slept with them and their entire female social group or personally know guys that are running through girls and all their friends. The girls are aware these guys are 'smooth talkers' or whatever but STILL end up being seduced while mainting their friendship with the guy in question and their friends. When you end up hearing of these guys and meeting them you realise how 'normal' they are and in comparison how clown like and foolish some of the shit you do is to attract women. Now that's not a problem, if acting like a clown is genuinely you, but when you're being like that in order to 'get in state' or 'attract' a girl, rather than doing what you want and just being how you want to be, then that is where my beef lies. I can hold my hand up and be the first to admit at times I've been at the mercy of acting a fool to 'get into state' when the authentic me is really a lot more chilled and relaxed. 

So what am I doing now, with regards to 'game'? Keeping my eyes on it, monitoring my progress, writing down clear goals so when I go out I know exactly what I'm doing. This seems the opposite of what I was preaching above, but for a while I was going out and wandering about aimlessly, coming home and beating myself up because I was shite. This way I can pinpoint exactly where I am going wrong, go out and work on it, then even a poor night by previous standards is a progressive night if I do at least one thing that moves me closer to where I want to be. So my goals... the long term one is to get a girlfriend, someone I'm proud to have on my arm but has an amazing personality, I don't want to settle, although I times it can be alluring. The others are as follows:

1. Fear of rejection - I want to really get rid of this completely, I still get it on the odd occasion with the super hotties, however, this area is the one that I've improved the most in.

2. Sexual State Projection - Being honest, being sexual, stating your intent, having a fun interaction instead of boring each other.

3. Lead - Leading on a high point, being dominant, maintaining that.

With the help of certain individuals I broke it down to those three things, that once I consistantly do will allow me to consistantly attract and get the women that I want to be with. 

Still with me....? 

Ok, man I don't know how I do it but I seem to fall for people quite easily (I'll get onto this a little later). There is a girl at work, we have had a sort of flirty relationship for a while now, other members of our team seemed to pick up on this and it developed into a whole soap opera with everyone passing comment on our relationship. Joking we were boyfriend and girlfriend, asking each other if we had been 'out' together and generally just gossiping about us. This didn't bother me, I can pretty much get on with my work. But she is quite a shy person and I could tell it really annoyed her, they'd get a reaction from her, thus making them do it more and more. Now I was torn, part of me thought she did like me; she txt's loads, asks when I'm out, the flirty banter between us, random threats of drunk calls late at night. But part of me didn't think she liked me; she used to say I need to get a girlfriend, hinted at not liking me, plus the fact we worked together just made me really hesitant. I originally stated I would not get with anyone I worked with, however, it's hard when you actually like someone and you are in that position. 

    A good female friend of mine convinced me that she did actually like me, although I still had my doubts. My female friend I trusted because she said she had been in the exact same position as the girl from work before and knew exactly what she was doing/how she felt. The whole situation I felt was made harder being at work, it's not like I can go for broke when you have to see that person everyday if it fucks up. So I was very careful and took a relaxed indirect stance to it. Meanwhile, the gossiping and joking got worse and worse at work, she said we needed to talk, people were going between us, saying "she said 'X'... about you" and to her saying "He said 'Y'...about you".

     Now we were in desparate need for a talk she was being very indecisive, but revealed more and more in her txts, which gave me a stronger feeling that she possibly liked me. This came to a pinnacle last night. I said we were going out for a drink to have this talk, all I wanted was to be honest with her and air out my feelings because letting them out would lift this weight I had on my chest. She was really nervous and scared about it all, we went out and sat down over some drinks and talked for a while. She did like me but had doubts too because we worked together, because she didn;'t genuinely know whether she only liked me as a friend. Basically she seemed to have an equal amount of reasons for liking me and not liking me. Straight up indecisiveness, it was refreshing though to hear everything directly from her as opposed to rumours from people I work with. 

    It got late she invited me to hers to stop over, we did end up making out a lot, and she was really affectionate with me. We decided to go out more together and see where it goes...

One thing that hit me though, I told my mum about the whole thing. She said "Why do you always get the indecisive ones?" 

This is true, the last girl I was seeing once said to me "I'm so confused, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, I've never been in this position before" when deciding whether to stay with me or get back with her ex.

Last night I heard a similiar thing "I'm so confused, I've never been in this position before with anybody" Which lead me to think...

Is indecisiveness the nature of women? From what I know, men are meant to be directional, solid purposeful. Does that mean in these situations we have to step up and sort of give them a nudge into deciding, rather than giving them free reign to decide themselves. I sort of experimented with this last night and I am going to continue to do so. Whenever I'm met with indecisiveness on her behalf I'm going to Lead, be intentful and step up and handle the situation.

Thoughts and ideas welcomed, I'll try and keep you informed with how it goes.

Soulessness vs Emotions

I was listening to some music earlier and thought about this topic. I've noticed that sometimes when I go out and meet random women my game can sometimes be uninspired, I'm just going through the motions, I don't feel 'inspired' to talk to the girl before me. But at the same time, I feel that that sort of emotionlessness would help in the situation with the girl from work. I really hate it when a girl gets under my skin. My emotions get the better of me, I try to keep them in check but I fall for the girl. Now, part me feels this is to do with the fact I'm truely not living in abundence and once I do and have a lot more choice when it comes to high quality women I won't fall for girls as often or as hard. But then I sometimes question that, maybe it is unavoidable. You will eventually meet a girl who will get under your skin, you will get emotions driving you crazy, stressing you out, I just don't know. 

But it seems that the injection of emotions would inspire your 'game' with passion, hunger, desire etc when out meeting randoms on nights out. But I often see preaching from seduction schools not to be emotionally reactive, which seems to have left me souless when out interacting with strangers. I may be rambling now but if anyone makes sense of this please break it down...

2009 Baby!

I finally feel this is the year I have to step up, not just in game but life. I have this fear that I'm never doing 'enough'. Time seems to fly, I'm 25 soon and for starters I'm living at home. That is the first thing I am going to remedy in the new year. I've been waiting a while to move out and recently have realised that in life ultimately you have to look out for number one. Your only concern is really yourself, you cannot get caught up spectating other people's lives and letting other people's lives dictate yours. You should have your own goals and purpose and be moving towards that regardless, because when it comes down it, your priority is you. You can't be constantly waiting for other people. I was in bed this morning and my ears caught a bit of an interview with a business woman on TV. I heard her say, in response to what advice she can give to others, "you cannot just skirt around the edges, you have to take the plunge, trust your gut feelings and jump despite your fear". 

   I've been thinking about that, I will hold my hand up I do skirt around the edges, one thing I admire about 'The hustle russell" is that the boy jumps in. I have my styling business that I definitely want to get off the ground in 2009, no skirting around the edges, time to jump in. I've also considered possibly moving to Canada to help me 'grow up' and potentially get some work experience from an image consultancy. I also want to finish the junior management workshops at my current job and get a pay rise to support me in my move out. 

I finished the book 'Atlas Shrugged' this year which inspired me loads, particularly when it comes to work ethic and taking pride in the work you do. Having integrity, living by your own moral code. After reading the book I noticed how so many people just go through the paces at work and do just enough to not get fired. They don't have any pride in their work, I don't blame them I used to be like that. Now I look back and I'm happy I've changed my out look. It's almost as if people are waiting to get 'that job' and then be happy, take pride, have a strong work ethic, but the irony is, if they don't take responsibility for their work now and step up, they will probably never get 'that job'. Alternatively, they'll get 'that job' then find something else to moan about and complain over.  

I've also started to take less advice, I've been known ask everybody and their dog when I'm unsure about certain things. I'm not writing it off completely, people with experience and expertise are always worth talking to. But I think I was seeking the same thing people seek from 'seduction products' in the advice from friends et al "A MAGIC PILL". The way I looked at it, the more advice I get, the more I get bogged down in information, the more I feel I need to please everybody rather than doing what I want to do and what feels right to me. I'm starting to trust my gut feeling more. You know the situation you're in better than anyone else, there is often no 'answer' to your query. By seeking an 'answer' it illustrates you're afraid to fail, you're skirting around the edges, instead of taking the plunge. Therefore, let the chips fall where they may, make a decision on what you feel is right. If it is the wrong decision, you've learnt a lesson and you are richer from the experience. After all the journey is the destination.

I've rambled enough now, this shit has taken me an age to write. I'd love to hear your comments and answers to my questions. I've been drinking a lot of caffinated tea so my mind has been in overdrive today, incase anything didn't make sense 

Peace and Love!