So everything had been going smoothly.... then this evening I had my first rock of boat so to speak. Is it drastic? I don't think so, however I'll shed some light on the issue to give you greater insight.
We had spent the last three days together, we had an awesome weekend where we went and stayed in this beautiful 5 star apartment in Manchester. Now I had been trying to get frisky with her all evening but she was like 'noooo not yet' and kept rejecting my advances. We had just ate a beautiful dinner and sat down and I was watching a movie while she was in the shower. She came out in a robe and her underwear and to be honest I can't remember the exact dialogue I finished watching the movie then showered and we finished off our evening with some sexy time!. The next two days we had an awesome time together she proclaimed she was the happiest she had ever been.... roll on.. two days later.
I had been chatting to her on the phone the previous evening while not paying attention 100% because I was looking for some new hair clippers on the net. She had been complaining about a sore throat.
Then this evening we spoke on the phone, she said she was in a mood with me and was going to go to bed. It was no big deal, she usually gets in these little moods then comes out of them herself when she realises how much of a spaz she's being, I then usually get a txt apologising or saying shes loves me.
Anyway, I txt her wishing her good night and then I got a reply saying she was hormonal and had been unhappy all day. She was worried we were moving too fast...
WTF!?
I quizzed her in what way?
The issue came to her feeling like I was no longer wooing her and how the manchester thing had upset her and how she felt I didn't care she felt poorly with her sore throat.
Both I felt were pretty minor issues, I knew she was pissed about the thing in Manchester.. she had clearly made that issue be known, but it obviously had been at the back of her mind. I was a bit annoyed she was txting me this and that she hadn't been honest with me.
I txt her back handling the situation, or trying to and then got another reply saying it was pretty obvious she was annoyed about the thing in manchester. She said we'd talk about it later and she loved me.
I then got another txt from her... in her classic style... saying
"I love you and dont want to be grumpy :-( x x x x "
So she had brought herself out of her mood. However, this one I think we will discuss as there maybe an underlaying issue. It did force me to scrutinise my involvement in the relationship, I noticed I'm not very complimentry to her, which was an issue I had with the girl I was seeing in summer. Maybe it's the way how the 'game' has forced me to sort of hold back compliments and feelings which has had a knock on effect. My only previous reference point of a relationship was with the ex that lead me to the game, everything was perfect up until the time we broke up. So when I hear of couples having problems or issues it is a bit alien to me as I never experienced that. I know there is a whole other side to interacting with women that I now have to learn, which I'm trying to remember.
And although it is an issue, or maybe there is no issue at all, it is something I'd like to nip in the bud before it spirials into something bigger.
3 comments:
Oooh yes! Been there to bro, I’ve been accused of not complimenting enough for the exact reason you described... because of my ‘community’ learning.
I have found that, even if I thought her issues were trivial or manufactured to create drama, I would apologise if I had made her feel bad... not for my core behaviour or as an admittance of making a mistake... unless of course I genuinely had made a mistake.
And the benefits of telling her I’d been thinking of her or, occasionally, that I had really missed her that day are immense ;-)
Its a painful lesson to learn that keeping what you want is far more difficult than getting it in the first place. There have been times that I have found it very hard to stay unreactive when a girl has spiraled the drama out of all proportion to the situation... and that’s always been the beginning of the end for me.
Ha Ha the issue in the post has been resolved and it was down to really an incident with an ex.
I'd bought a bag from work when I was with my ex. She said that was really thoughtful (the gesture not the actual item) and wanted me to do the same for her. However, I told her it was at the time the girl's birthday.
She admitted that it was that which was bothering her. But I still took the stuff on board.
I then had a little fall out with her the other day, completely my fault I reacted to something she said really negatively and got in a huff about it. We made up shortly after and had passionate sex :). But that was a reminder to myself to not be a bitch.
It truly is difficult to balance keeping the girl and a lot more challenging. Especially when my only real reference point for a proper relationship is my first love who I got along with perfectly.
The downside to the couple of little fall outs are she is now having second thoughts about living together come june and is still undecided between me and living with one of her current flate mates.
Your thinking of living with her? That's well cool man.
I find it really stressful when Pretzel gets upset. I just comfort her and get her out of her mood and then I always make sure she apologises to me afterwards. I find that the most important thing for me.
I'm happy to apologise to her profusely for whatever I've done (even if it was unintentional) But I have to make sure she apologises to me as well for getting in a stupid girl mood and stressing me out.
Come to think of it thats one of the main reasons we had a split up/ had a break. She got really stressed at me for no reason and I comforted her out it after wards but then she just left so i felt really shit.
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