Obey The Urge

My first 'test' in the relationship.

2009-03-12T16:16:00.000-07:00

So everything had been going smoothly.... then this evening I had my first rock of boat so to speak. Is it drastic? I don't think so, however I'll shed some light on the issue to give you greater insight.

We had spent the last three days together, we had an awesome weekend where we went and stayed in this beautiful 5 star apartment in Manchester. Now I had been trying to get frisky with her all evening but she was like 'noooo not yet' and kept rejecting my advances. We had just ate a beautiful dinner and sat down and I was watching a movie while she was in the shower. She came out in a robe and her underwear and to be honest I can't remember the exact dialogue I finished watching the movie then showered and we finished off our evening with some sexy time!. The next two days we had an awesome time together she proclaimed she was the happiest she had ever been.... roll on.. two days later.

I had been chatting to her on the phone the previous evening while not paying attention 100% because I was looking for some new hair clippers on the net. She had been complaining about a sore throat.

Then this evening we spoke on the phone, she said she was in a mood with me and was going to go to bed. It was no big deal, she usually gets in these little moods then comes out of them herself when she realises how much of a spaz she's being, I then usually get a txt apologising or saying shes loves me.

Anyway, I txt her wishing her good night and then I got a reply saying she was hormonal and had been unhappy all day. She was worried we were moving too fast...

WTF!?

I quizzed her in what way?

The issue came to her feeling like I was no longer wooing her and how the manchester thing had upset her and how she felt I didn't care she felt poorly with her sore throat.

Both I felt were pretty minor issues, I knew she was pissed about the thing in Manchester.. she had clearly made that issue be known, but it obviously had been at the back of her mind. I was a bit annoyed she was txting me this and that she hadn't been honest with me.

I txt her back handling the situation, or trying to and then got another reply saying it was pretty obvious she was annoyed about the thing in manchester. She said we'd talk about it later and she loved me.

I then got another txt from her... in her classic style... saying

"I love you and dont want to be grumpy :-( x x x x "

So she had brought herself out of her mood. However, this one I think we will discuss as there maybe an underlaying issue. It did force me to scrutinise my involvement in the relationship, I noticed I'm not very complimentry to her, which was an issue I had with the girl I was seeing in summer. Maybe it's the way how the 'game' has forced me to sort of hold back compliments and feelings which has had a knock on effect. My only previous reference point of a relationship was with the ex that lead me to the game, everything was perfect up until the time we broke up. So when I hear of couples having problems or issues it is a bit alien to me as I never experienced that. I know there is a whole other side to interacting with women that I now have to learn, which I'm trying to remember.

And although it is an issue, or maybe there is no issue at all, it is something I'd like to nip in the bud before it spirials into something bigger.

Holding Hands

2009-02-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

I Remember back when I must have been about 17/18 I really liked this girl and was in a bit of a conundrum about it. I sought the advice of a female friend of mine, I cannot remember exactly what we discussed but I remember one thing vividly. She said to me

"If you feel like holding her hand, hold her hand.... if you feel like kissing her, kiss her"

I cannot exactly remember what I actually did about the situation, but I know it wasn't the advice I was given. Infact I probably dismissed it, until now...I've already established that on this journey the goal is not to learn more information but to unlearn. However, I constantly see others questing for the next hit of PU technology. These guys are master marketers constantly bombarding us with new stuff, I'm not immune to it, I still get enticed on the odd occasion and the allure of something new and exciting is what keeps guys going back for more. Not only that but the world that surrounds the 'community' is glamourised and distorted. I'll give you an example by what I mean by this.

In the Jeffy Show, he talks about 'chess club girl' and how she had all these guys surrounding her and after her, he talks about how she is was a 10. All fine and dandy? Well... apparantly pictures appeared on the internet of 'chess club girl' and community chodes started bitching about how she wasn't that hot etc etc. The actual fact is (I've not seen the pictures) 'chess club' was probably a normal girl, most attractive girls do have guys after them. But the community portrays certain stories in certain ways that every single girl these dudes get with is a supermodel. Now she may well have been a 10, and this is the key thing, she may have been jeffy's '10'. The problem that occurs now is that guys are scared to 'like' a girl because they're too worried about what the 'community' views as a '10' and what their fellow wings view as a '10'. Waiting for the next best thing, afraid to commit. The reality is you should go for your '10' nobody elses.

Doing what you want to do

This is where the holding hands thing comes into it. Really one of the fundemental principles you have to take on and be consistent with is, Am I doing what I want to do? Whether that be holding a girls hand, kissing her, regardless of what others think around you. When you consistently do this people start to take notice and coupled with honesty you have all you need for successful seduction. Its often the most simple things that are the hardest to do, being truely honest, to oneself and to another person about what you want can be harder than one may think. But once mastered honesty is one powerful tool. This stretches out to everything you do, I often see guys copying tactics to get ' in state' but these things they do leave them looking like a clown, I'm sure this is not really them acting honestly with themselves, they're doing it hoping to 'get in state' as opposed to doing what they really want to do. The result is they often are perceived as slightly 'weird' by the girls and have a tendency to creep them out. Where as getting in state can be achieved in other ways that are aligned with who they really are as opposed to what they 'think' they should be doing.

It can be quite frustrating sometimes when you see other people doing what you used to do, especially since you know a better way. However, they quite often cannot understand your way and if they're still relatively new, have to go through the process of learning it for themselves. The reason it frustrates me could be down to the shadowself, however that is an entirely different post I shall cover later...

Valentines Day

2009-02-17T02:34:00.000-08:00

I was reading my post entry for Feb 14th 2008, what a difference a year makes. Last year I went out scored 3 make outs and was trying to figure out how I could have pulled a girl into the disabled toilets. This year Feb 14th was quite a contrast. We were both working the next day so decided to have a quiet evening in, cook some good food and watch a movie. Afterwards we presented each other with little gestures of our appreciation for each other. Mine included giving her a dozen red roses and I got a little box, filled it with heart shaped foil chocolates, heart shaped confetti and then on 23 pieces of confetti (we had been officially together for 23 days), wrote a different thing I loved about her. Placed them all inside and wrapped a red bow around.

Now I was a little unsure about this, I thought it may have been a little cheesey, however, I couldn't have been more wrong. She was absolutely blown away and said it was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her and how she was going to tell all her friends, result! The thing is we had originally only said we'd get each other cards, but I know women, when they say one thing they generally mean another.

For me she made the fairy cakes above (food), she also gave me some lush soap (shower), then an envolpe with little ones inside each with a date on. Apparantly each envolpe had a 'date' inside that represented something I was interested in/ a side of me. The first one was to go see the movie Notorious with her, as this is the sort of film she'd never go see usually. The food and shower references are to a text I sent her a while back where I joked I only go to see her to use her shower and because she cooks for me. She also gave me this Vogue collections magazine, with the spring summer collections from every designer, which was quite expensive for a magazine, essential for my work. I have to say I really loved all the effort she had put and had an amazing evening as did she.

As far as the work is concerned I got told they'll be keeping me in personal shopping. They couldn't say I was definitely permenant but my manager said that as far as she was concerned, I have done incredible well and I was working in my best role. So... looks like all the work has sort of paid off.

high expectations

2009-02-08T10:21:00.000-08:00

so i.ve come to the end of my second week in my new role at work. I'm really enjoying it and the last week i feel i've started to really get my teeth into the job. I had two appointments that i handled entirely myself and both clients went away with purchases and singing the praises of me and their experience. The downside? Both my managers responsible for making the major decisions were off this week so did not get to see that. Today i got a bit paranoid, probably the lack of sleep, when i heard my sales manager mentioning booking my rivals holiday she asked how it was going with me but the phone was ringing so i did not get the chance to go into detail. She asked if i was missing shoes, i told her not really. I know it is really nothing, however it was a reminder to not start getting too comfy,maybe it is just me having high expectations but i want to earn my place in there and i want them to know i.ve earned it. In my favour my manager did ask on monday how i would feel if i got asked to stay permanently. Then said we'll see... I was thinking of asking her if there is anything i can do better then let me know because i'm enjoying it and dont want to just be doing alright i want to do the best i can do and earn a permanent place in there. I know i'm not like most people in that others would not really express themselves in that manner. They expect to be granted things, that is the vibe i get from my rival who it seems i almost like well i should not be here so i cannot be bothered. But i can never say that for sure. Anyway enough rambling... Notice there is no mention of 'game' for the first time ever. I may amend this post at a later date as i have certain things i could add regarding that.

Where have I been lately...

2009-02-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

Well in case you did not know, I now have a girlfriend. It's been a long time coming, three years I guess since I set off on my journey. I've developed a lot and had some real adventures, I never set out to get a 'girlfriend' infact it was not until earlier last year I realised it was what I really wanted if I was being honest with myself.

The girl in question is somebody from work, it seems all a bit 'traditional',however, I KNOW I would have not been able to get with her if had not had the experience of going out week after week and meeting women. This may sound like it's the final blog post but that is certainly not the case. I will still try and maintain this blog and turn it more into a general lifestyle thing as opposed to strictly seduction based. It'll still contain details of my experiences being in a relationship and talking to my friends. I still go out and meet and talk to women so I can continue to address similiar issues I have been talking about through out the blog.

I am trying to twist Sunnee into writing a piece for the blog, he has been writing a mammoth essay on 'game' more for himself, but he mentioned posting it on here as well. Although he is a little uncertain at the moment, he has been on form recently and speaking the truth so I'm going to really try and get that on here.

2009 Goals

2009-01-20T05:33:00.000-08:00

A quick mind dump of my goals for 2009 i want to do it big this year.

Top Four goals for 2009 and why I’ll achieve them

1.Being a Man

Already know hot to be a man, been progressing towards it for the last 2 years. Have all the advice and guidance, consistently improving towards it. Learning more and more about what it takes and getting closer and closer. Important so core confidence is solid, well being, success and positive state of mind.

2, Image Consultant

Have the motivation, passion and desire. Know enough about styling, fashion and grooming to do it. Have a better understanding of the industry. Have the experience and know the potential customer base. It is important to me to become more independent and more successful. Responsible for my own income and own work life. To enjoy what I do and to enrich other peoples lives.

3. Live in the City

Already know how much and where I’m going to live and who I’m going to live with. Know when I’m going to move out. I have been consistently looking for places. It is important because I need my own space, force me to grow up, own independence, easy access to work and cosmopolitan city.

4. Lean Body

Started eating clean, started looking into what foods I eat. Got into habit before with 15 minutes ‘to thrive’, worked out consistently before AND increased my strength. It is important for well being, good for flexibility and for looks/image. Good for the immune system and for health reasons.

Describe what you will Experience when you achieve it

1. Feel good, feel consistently motivated and grounded. See the way people interact with you. Hear the way they communicate more clearly and straight to the point. You hear the way you speak assertively what’s on your mind.

2. See the way you change peoples states and change the way they shape their lives. Communicate clearly and hear the praise they give you but also reciting the knowledge they’ve acquired. Feel good about changing their lives, feel how drive and excited you are to get up for work in the morning.

3. See the sunrise in the morning, hear the light sound of traffic, feel good after a lie in, feel inspired from looking at surroundings and the ‘buzz’ of the city

4. Feel the ‘aliveness’ of waking up early and walking and doing incantations. Feel the pimp from working out. Hear the compliments form people about your body and eating. See the changes in physical body and feel the well being and energy from eating well.

What resources do I already have at my disposal?

1. The community, friends, books, audio programmes. My own knowledge, own experience and my own intuition.

2. Financial reserve of cash, experience at work, books, tv programmes, motivation, creativity. Business link, flexibility, the community, passion.

3. Cash, internet, friends to move out with. Determination, time to look, patience to wait, experience of someone else who has lived alone before.

4. Experience, already got a good base. Have done it before so know the route to get the results. Tony Robbins, books, friends, drive.

Times I’ve used some of these resources skillfully?

Basketball Semi Final at School: Creativity, drive, no worries, 100% commitment, didn’t think I could fail

Harvey Nichols 0 – 6 months senior sales: Consistency, drive, motivation, experience, Programs, books

Me and ‘x’: Friends, community, programs, books, own intuition, own desires and passions.

What type of person would you have to be to attain these goals?

1. Driven, motivated and not afraid of failing. Has a power to reframe and not draw state from environment. Draws statte from within, no ego. Thinks out loud, does what he wants, realises there is only himself and no one else. Gives value, remains positive, not victim behaviour appreciates what has and the past, no regrests

2. Discipline, good with money, good at networking, likeable, trusting. Has experience and has a way of communicating with people. Knows fashion and trends, can relate to people. Can organise time well, does not procrastinate, doesn’t see set backs as failures. Can drive through tough times a certain hustle about them. Good selling skills.

3. Someone who has a passion, drive, a way of communicating and getting their point across, good at budgeting finances.

4. Disciplined, a drive to push past plateau’s. Not easily lead. Makes own mind up about things. Organised and prepared, motivated, energetic and inspired, genuinely wants to change.

What prevents you from having the things you desire right now?

1. Visualise bad things, assume the worst, let other peoples actions dictate how I feel. Afraid of reality, feel validated by attention from others. Let other people’s comments affect me. Draw state from outside me, not from within. Don’t appreciate what I have already and what I have achieved. Compare myself to others.

2. Procrastinate, forget about working towards it. Not enough planning or action. Scared of failing, use waiting for other people as an excuse, sacred to let my plans be known as fear of being judged.

3. Waiting for other people, scared of taking action myself and putting responsibility in my own hands, not consistently being honest with what I want and looking for it consistently.

4. Letting others influence my choice of food. Laziness and lack of discipline. Not creating the time to put the work in.

Step by Step plan to achieve each goal

1. Start being honest

2. Stop procrastinating

3. Improve self esteem

4. Think about loud

5. Draw state from within

6. Do what I want to do

7. Stop caring what people think

8. Keep reading and doing programmes

9. Regularly read goals

10. Appreciate what I have and where I’ve come from.

1. Be honest about what I want at HN

2. Get the work in personal shopping

3. Secure work experience

4. Write business plan

5. Network about business

6. Start getting one client a week

7. Let 3 people a week know about the business

8. Regularly make decisions on gut.

9. Regularly chase up people who don’t get back.

1. Get a pay rise above 14k

2. Plan when going to move out

3. Look once a week for places

4. View once place every 2 weeks

5. Do not wait on other people

6. Listen to gut feeling

7. Budget carefully

1. Every morning get up and do 15minutes

2. Work out at a minimum twice a week

3. Eat 6 times a day

4. Groom once a week

5. Only eat unprocessed and ground foods

6. 1 cheat meal a week

7. drink water through out the day

8. bed no later than 11pm

9. one tea a day in the morning

Models who have achieved what you want to achieve

Michael Jordan

D rowley

Bruce Lee

Qualities that made them successful

1. Self belief, disciplined, motivated, passionate, persistent, insightful, going on gut feeling.

2. Motivated, disciplined, passionate, enjoys work, positive, gets things done, team player, gets on with everyone.

3. Driven, doesn’t give up and not afraid to fail, puts the work in where it counts, get out what you put in.

One main idea from each

1.Belief

2.Don’t procrastinate, take action

3.Drive, to fail is to achieve.

2008 round up

2008-12-26T14:49:00.000-08:00

Oh that thing... that is my ideal working envirnoment, just a little exercise I have been doing today. All will be revealed in my first blog post of the new year, expected on you guessed it, new years day.

So I was sat in Nando's with my good friend Herle, discussing goals, life and game. I love conversations like these and can sit for hours just thoerising about things. I was discussing how I feel that I am never doing quite enough, like I am not progressing fast enough. Herle stood up and looked out side the window and said "look at these people, they're just stuck in their routine, the fact that you even recognise that you want to progress is more than the majority of these people" (n.b. Those weren't his exact words... but the general gist of what he was saying). And it is generally true, we can get so caught up in growing that we don't stop and look at what we have and where we've come from.

I started listening to 'Six Pillars of Self Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden on audio book. This very thing was a point he raised about people with high esteem, high esteem people appreciate what they have and what they have achieved, they're not constantly striving for something else. Generally the people that are, acquire what they were striving for, but then strive for something else. The result is that they are constantly striving for something, they are never happy with what they have or what they have achieved, they don't take the time to appreciate that, instead they strive for the next sexual adventure, material object or goal. I realised I do this a lot, I can count numerous times I've come back from a night out 'sarging' and felt frustrated because I feel so far away from what I want. Where as when I take a moment to think, two years ago if I would have been happy with the position I'm now in. Which leads me to question, when I get to the point I 'now' feel I want to be in, will I be content? Will I be satisfied? Will that hot blonde be enough?

This post is about 2008... when I look back at it, it was a successful year, at first glance I didn't think it was particularly successful... nor unsuccessful. But when I really thought about it, I appreciate all the experiences I've had this year and all the lessons I've learnt.

- I got to travel to two new places outside of the UK. I visited Sweden and had an absolutely amazing time. The people, the food, the city of Stockholm, the company I had on my journey there and all the jokes we shared. Glorious times! I got to travel to Prague again I had an amazing time, I got to see a city I'd never visited before, while experience some of the local women ;) the local food and party like a rockstar for a week! That's not to mention the countless trips to various cities around the UK to party that I've had this year; Nottingham, last new years when I was hugging a toilet bowl. Newcastle twice!... the Legend that is SUPERSTAR!! and Byker! Liverpool, Turbo heaven... London... the most amazing party of my life...THE RUBBER BALL! Freezing my ass off in Manchester, Preston... getting fro mogged by Ebbi. These are the trips that I do remember and already each one has brought a smile to my face.

- My job, I finally realised what I want to do with my life, job wise. I made that decision and set out a plan to find out as much information on the subject as I could. I started to plan and act towards setting up a career in that field. I set up my own website, although it is not 100% complete it is up and running. I took the action to get my own business card designed. I started to contact a few potential clients. I had my manager recognise my talents at my job, I was promoted to 'platinum sales' after six months at being in my job. I met some incredible people, learnt a lot about fashion and gained a good grounding in the world of fashion and retail. My new manager is badgering me to step up a level again. I applied for the junior management workshop at work. I've sent emails out about internships and potential work experience at companies in my related field.

This was one area of my life I felt I wasn't satisfied with, I felt I was not pulling my weight in. However, after listing all those things I've done and achieved this year, I personally have been quite surprised, it shows that you should appreciate what you achieve and how far you've come. I started out almost exactly a year ago as a Christmas temp... securing the job permenantly was the first achievement, which I never even considered to be an 'achievement' as such. Previously I had hardly any experience in my field and I had relatively little knowledge when I acquired the job other than the will to learn, confidence and work ethic. It is easy to overlook where you have come from and how you have got to where you are at now.

- This is a funny one, women... I've learnt a shed load about game this year, but I feel on a much deeper level. I've learnt a lot about women as opposed to 'game' I've had the privledge of spending time with two quality women, who I thought were both good lucking and a 'step up' so to speak from women I've had in the past. While being with the first girl for approx 6 months in total, I learnt so much about myself. I started realising what it means to be a man, what sort of actions a man takes and how he interacts with women. I learnt a lot more about dealing with women outside the realms of meeting and attracting them in a bar. I learnt about how to interact with them and how to maintain and go about maintaing a relationship with them. I learnt how to be honest and how thinking 'for' them can lead to so many problems and frustrations. I expressed my self honestly and had the confidence to be honest with both myself and them. This has been one HELL of a bumpy ride and has been extremely draining and stressful at times. But I am far richer from the experiences. They have both taught me a lot and continue to do so, that is the beauty of it. I started scrambling in times of doubt for a magic forumla, for a 'way' to find my answer to get what I wanted. But I realised there is no magic forumla, you just roll with it, do what your intuition tells you, appreciate every moment you have with them and take in every lesson learned. The very act of wanting the magic forumla is setting yourself up for failure, when you just let go and not try and force the outcome, while still being in control of your own life then you find that things will start to fall into place. If they don't you win anyway.... you're still breathing.

I could probably ramble on for a lot longer, but I'll save that for 2009. I just wanted to put this post up really for a reminder to myself and a reminder to anyone reading that it is easy to forget about the growing we do as people. Sometimes you have to sit down and appreciate what you have and from where you have come, not getting caught up in the constant strive for more.

So until 2009.... Peace

Career Intentions

2008-12-23T04:52:00.001-08:00

Just a quick update on my career shizzle. It is more a reminder to myself than to anything else to state my intentions at work about what I want before the end of January, I've had previous opportunities but I have put them off. That is something I do which I do not like, procrastinate, instead of doing it there and then. I'm always waiting for the 'right time or opportunity' which never exists. This is more about a flaw in my character than anything else, which does filter through with women and effects how I interact with them.

I shall drop in on the new year with a round up of 2008, plans for 2009, goals etc I'll also be dropping in to say I've done this task I've set myself.

Yes...No...Maybe...

2008-12-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

Weird picture, I know... I love the photogrpahy though.

So i've been drinking tea again and thinking a lot. Let me explain the reasoning behind my excessive thinking. In my last blog I mentioned the girl from work, now we had arranged to meet up after work on Monday and go out together and do something. However, I was out with the guys on Saturday night and she text me saying

"we need to have chats about Monday"

I sent a knee jerk reaction of a txt back, I'm sure you've done it before. You sort of emotionally react to the message and send a message back quickly expressing that emotion. I sent

"Why what's up with Monday?"

Her reply...

"Chill out, we'll chat tomorrow x"

This completely killed my state, even though if you just look at it objectively, there is not much negative about it. But in the moment my mind just started associating negative meanings to the text message. The rest of the night was a slug fest, however, I did manage to make out with a pretty cute 30 year old with her taking my facebook before we left. This morning I looked back on the night, I sat in the chair just staring at myself in the mirror, have you ever done that before? Or am I just a weirdo? Anyway, I was just observing my feelings, I'm quite a nervous character and have a nasty habit of getting nervy when I 'fall' for a girl. It is pretty much a problem for me, if it's consistent I tend to loose my appetite, which results in my loosing weight. So it can be pretty much a big deal.

So I log onto RSDnation, which I rarely do, scroll down the forum and select a thread at random. It is quite funny looking back on it now, why did I pick that thread out of all the others? But to get to the point, the thread was from a guy who had got emotionally attatched to a girl he had slept with who then blew him off. He had been talking about all the paradoxes in the game for example:

In order to be a sexworthy guy you need to be getting laid in the first place

The rest of the thread contained crack content. Most of it I had heard before but I had to sit back and really think about the situation I was in and with the help of the advice in the thread, which I already knew but needed reminding of, I realised... People are dieing in the world, they have no food, people are loosing their jobs, I have roof over my head, money in my pocket, I just went out last night and hooked up with a girl. What did I have to worry about? That some girl might not like ? Who gives a fuck! Exactly, I'm still worrying about what she thinks about me, mistake number one. Number two to quote Jeffy

Remember, the SECOND that a woman can very clearly discern that you feel she is of higher value than you, BOOM it's over.

Sobering truths of the game.

Did I view her as higher value? Possibly, but more to the point I was drawing my state from my environment rather than from within. I should be happy regardless of what is going on around me, from a girl sending you a text message to somebody blowing you out. In the grand scheme of things it does not matter. It also highlights the fact that I'm still ego driven, whether she likes me or not does bother me, in reality it should not be an issue, but I still feel the need for external validation. These were some of the things that were brought to my attention thanks to reading the tribulations of the poster in the RSDnation thread. Fundamental flaws in my game, could I even handle being in a relationship at this point? If I am stressing out now, before I've even started to anything with the girl what would I be like once in a relationship. This is something I often questioned when I was seeing the other girl earlier this year.

Going back to the text message, the whole state crash would not have been an issue if I had not 'thought for her'. That is probably the worst thing you can ever do, but need to keep reminding yourself not to do it. For example, the text message

"we need to have chats about monday"

Take it at face value, the natural response would be

"Ok, we'll talk on monday"

However, as soon as you start 'thinking' for her, emotions come into play and you start to take the text message out of its proper context.

Now, I was having a deep discussion with Sunnee's older sister about the whole issue. I had also been doing something thinking after my new 'enlightening realtisation'. I came to a conclusion with the help of both that life is too short for 'maybe's. The fact that the girl was indecisive pretty much gave me her answer to whether or not she liked me. Would I want to be with someone who wasn't sure they wanted to be with me? The answer, truthfully, no. So you have to take this one as an experience and grow wiser from it.

I mean I really thought about it why should you settle for the indecisivness? Yes in the last post we established that many women can be indecisive, but to quote Pirate

It's up to her to align with you, or not. Control doesn't extend beyond the self, I can offer my path, she can decide to join me on it without having to decide where it goes...

When I go out there must be hundreds of women about that are single. Out of those some will be no's and some will be maybe's but some will be yes's. Out of those yes's there is the potential to find a girl that is far more attractive and cooler than the ones that are giving you 'maybe's. The positive from that is you also find a woman that knows what she wants, to quote phonte from little brother, the hip hop group:

On the other hand, the chick who gives it up on the first night is a hero and a patron saint. Praise that woman for letting you know, she know what she want outta life (c)Dre. For real……fellas, you take that woman home to mama and thank her for all the weeks of bullshit conversation, text messaging, and Cheesecake Factory dinners she’s saved you……and after that first night of sex, yall can really talk to each other as real people cause you aint got shit else to hide..

To bring it to a close, I did get a text from her this evening, I had already in my mind decided to just cut the chord if she continued to be indecisive. She, surprisingly made a decision and said that she could not see us as anymore than friends. I will admit that I was a bit upset, however, also liberated that the soap opera has come to a conclusion. Experience has taught me you cannot be bitter, all I could ask of her is to be honest and she was. It is all part of the journey, the brief moment we did connect on a physical level will be remembered fondley. However I can now focus on being friends with her and continue to go out and meet new women.

M.I.A: Polarity, The Journey & Action

2008-12-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

I've been missing in action for a while, in a few different areas. The most obvious is the absence of a blog update since October! I have been quite busy with a number of things, so expect a big post. I'd suggest grabbing a tea, putting on something soulful and getting comfy. I already have...

The first thing I'd like to talk about is 'Game', the longer I'm in the 'community' the further away I feel I drift from it. I've seemed to have developed this feeling that life is far greater than 'game' and when you step back and put it into perspective it doesn't really mean shit. I'm by no means hating on it, I still check in on the community and love the development I've made as a man. I still quest on occasion for 'techniques' and 'theory', by all means to a lesser extent than I have in the past. However, from time to time I go through these phases where it hits me between the eyes that this is not a process of learning, but rather unlearning. Stripping away the layers of social conditioning that have been patched onto you from infancy. An example of this recently was a conversation me and Sunnee were having. This year one of the biggest realisations I've had, courtsey of David X, is how powerful being honest is, especially in the field of relationships and dating. Though, Sunnee and I realised how hard just being honest is.

Why do we search in our minds during in moment of doubt for something to say to a girl?

Why not just say "I'm trying to think of something to say to you that might impress you, however, you're so stunning, my mind has gone blank".

You get the drift, something along those lines, whenever I've been honest it has always worked well for me. But I still struggle from time to time thinking of... something to say instead of just letting go and being honest.

Another aspect that has made me rethink things has been reading up on masculine polarity, what it means to be a man, but also feminine polarity and 'sex and evolution'. This has highlighted why the game, in my opinion, is about unlearning, it's about getting back in touch with our masculine polarity, stepping up, being a man, having some balls in a world where so many men are happy to let society push them around and emasculate them. This has helped me a great deal in understanding women, I don't feel you can ever understand them fully, but I am recognising more and more what they are doing and why they are that way. While I my dislike the nature of the feminine, in certain situations, the more I understand it, the less I get frustrated by their way.

Observation... surrounding yourself with 'normal' people. What I mean by this is, there are a lot of community guys that are straight up weird. They are so sucked into the whole community that it engulfs them, everything seems to get analysed, broken down and complex. When you're a part of this world, you don't even realise what is happening. You then hang out or surround yourself with normal, social, cool people. You realise that some of these guys are getting laid more than your community friends who can break down an approach and know EXACTLY what to do and could point it out and explain how to do it, if ever called upon to do so.

This shit baffled me... why is that the case? I'm still not 100% certain on this. I guess part of it is because we OVER COMPLECATE things, where as these guys don't. Not to discredit 'game' totally, without it some of us guys wouldn't even be able to get anywhere near a girl. But after we have a small amount of theory this should be more than enough to go out there and kill it.

This really hit me when I was thinking about a guy at work, how he has been at work half the time I've been there and fucked two hot girls. Not that I'm actively trying to fuck all my co-workers, but it just highlighted the issue I can break down an interaction but cannot put that theory into practice consistantly. I'm also starting to meet girls who are telling me about guys they are friends with, that have slept with them and their entire female social group or personally know guys that are running through girls and all their friends. The girls are aware these guys are 'smooth talkers' or whatever but STILL end up being seduced while mainting their friendship with the guy in question and their friends. When you end up hearing of these guys and meeting them you realise how 'normal' they are and in comparison how clown like and foolish some of the shit you do is to attract women. Now that's not a problem, if acting like a clown is genuinely you, but when you're being like that in order to 'get in state' or 'attract' a girl, rather than doing what you want and just being how you want to be, then that is where my beef lies. I can hold my hand up and be the first to admit at times I've been at the mercy of acting a fool to 'get into state' when the authentic me is really a lot more chilled and relaxed.

So what am I doing now, with regards to 'game'? Keeping my eyes on it, monitoring my progress, writing down clear goals so when I go out I know exactly what I'm doing. This seems the opposite of what I was preaching above, but for a while I was going out and wandering about aimlessly, coming home and beating myself up because I was shite. This way I can pinpoint exactly where I am going wrong, go out and work on it, then even a poor night by previous standards is a progressive night if I do at least one thing that moves me closer to where I want to be. So my goals... the long term one is to get a girlfriend, someone I'm proud to have on my arm but has an amazing personality, I don't want to settle, although I times it can be alluring. The others are as follows:

1. Fear of rejection - I want to really get rid of this completely, I still get it on the odd occasion with the super hotties, however, this area is the one that I've improved the most in.

2. Sexual State Projection - Being honest, being sexual, stating your intent, having a fun interaction instead of boring each other.

3. Lead - Leading on a high point, being dominant, maintaining that.

With the help of certain individuals I broke it down to those three things, that once I consistantly do will allow me to consistantly attract and get the women that I want to be with.

Still with me....?

Ok, man I don't know how I do it but I seem to fall for people quite easily (I'll get onto this a little later). There is a girl at work, we have had a sort of flirty relationship for a while now, other members of our team seemed to pick up on this and it developed into a whole soap opera with everyone passing comment on our relationship. Joking we were boyfriend and girlfriend, asking each other if we had been 'out' together and generally just gossiping about us. This didn't bother me, I can pretty much get on with my work. But she is quite a shy person and I could tell it really annoyed her, they'd get a reaction from her, thus making them do it more and more. Now I was torn, part of me thought she did like me; she txt's loads, asks when I'm out, the flirty banter between us, random threats of drunk calls late at night. But part of me didn't think she liked me; she used to say I need to get a girlfriend, hinted at not liking me, plus the fact we worked together just made me really hesitant. I originally stated I would not get with anyone I worked with, however, it's hard when you actually like someone and you are in that position.

A good female friend of mine convinced me that she did actually like me, although I still had my doubts. My female friend I trusted because she said she had been in the exact same position as the girl from work before and knew exactly what she was doing/how she felt. The whole situation I felt was made harder being at work, it's not like I can go for broke when you have to see that person everyday if it fucks up. So I was very careful and took a relaxed indirect stance to it. Meanwhile, the gossiping and joking got worse and worse at work, she said we needed to talk, people were going between us, saying "she said 'X'... about you" and to her saying "He said 'Y'...about you".

Now we were in desparate need for a talk she was being very indecisive, but revealed more and more in her txts, which gave me a stronger feeling that she possibly liked me. This came to a pinnacle last night. I said we were going out for a drink to have this talk, all I wanted was to be honest with her and air out my feelings because letting them out would lift this weight I had on my chest. She was really nervous and scared about it all, we went out and sat down over some drinks and talked for a while. She did like me but had doubts too because we worked together, because she didn;'t genuinely know whether she only liked me as a friend. Basically she seemed to have an equal amount of reasons for liking me and not liking me. Straight up indecisiveness, it was refreshing though to hear everything directly from her as opposed to rumours from people I work with.

It got late she invited me to hers to stop over, we did end up making out a lot, and she was really affectionate with me. We decided to go out more together and see where it goes...

One thing that hit me though, I told my mum about the whole thing. She said "Why do you always get the indecisive ones?"

This is true, the last girl I was seeing once said to me "I'm so confused, this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life, I've never been in this position before" when deciding whether to stay with me or get back with her ex.

Last night I heard a similiar thing "I'm so confused, I've never been in this position before with anybody" Which lead me to think...

Is indecisiveness the nature of women? From what I know, men are meant to be directional, solid purposeful. Does that mean in these situations we have to step up and sort of give them a nudge into deciding, rather than giving them free reign to decide themselves. I sort of experimented with this last night and I am going to continue to do so. Whenever I'm met with indecisiveness on her behalf I'm going to Lead, be intentful and step up and handle the situation.

Thoughts and ideas welcomed, I'll try and keep you informed with how it goes.

Soulessness vs Emotions

I was listening to some music earlier and thought about this topic. I've noticed that sometimes when I go out and meet random women my game can sometimes be uninspired, I'm just going through the motions, I don't feel 'inspired' to talk to the girl before me. But at the same time, I feel that that sort of emotionlessness would help in the situation with the girl from work. I really hate it when a girl gets under my skin. My emotions get the better of me, I try to keep them in check but I fall for the girl. Now, part me feels this is to do with the fact I'm truely not living in abundence and once I do and have a lot more choice when it comes to high quality women I won't fall for girls as often or as hard. But then I sometimes question that, maybe it is unavoidable. You will eventually meet a girl who will get under your skin, you will get emotions driving you crazy, stressing you out, I just don't know.

But it seems that the injection of emotions would inspire your 'game' with passion, hunger, desire etc when out meeting randoms on nights out. But I often see preaching from seduction schools not to be emotionally reactive, which seems to have left me souless when out interacting with strangers. I may be rambling now but if anyone makes sense of this please break it down...

2009 Baby!

I finally feel this is the year I have to step up, not just in game but life. I have this fear that I'm never doing 'enough'. Time seems to fly, I'm 25 soon and for starters I'm living at home. That is the first thing I am going to remedy in the new year. I've been waiting a while to move out and recently have realised that in life ultimately you have to look out for number one. Your only concern is really yourself, you cannot get caught up spectating other people's lives and letting other people's lives dictate yours. You should have your own goals and purpose and be moving towards that regardless, because when it comes down it, your priority is you. You can't be constantly waiting for other people. I was in bed this morning and my ears caught a bit of an interview with a business woman on TV. I heard her say, in response to what advice she can give to others, "you cannot just skirt around the edges, you have to take the plunge, trust your gut feelings and jump despite your fear".

I've been thinking about that, I will hold my hand up I do skirt around the edges, one thing I admire about 'The hustle russell" is that the boy jumps in. I have my styling business that I definitely want to get off the ground in 2009, no skirting around the edges, time to jump in. I've also considered possibly moving to Canada to help me 'grow up' and potentially get some work experience from an image consultancy. I also want to finish the junior management workshops at my current job and get a pay rise to support me in my move out.

I finished the book 'Atlas Shrugged' this year which inspired me loads, particularly when it comes to work ethic and taking pride in the work you do. Having integrity, living by your own moral code. After reading the book I noticed how so many people just go through the paces at work and do just enough to not get fired. They don't have any pride in their work, I don't blame them I used to be like that. Now I look back and I'm happy I've changed my out look. It's almost as if people are waiting to get 'that job' and then be happy, take pride, have a strong work ethic, but the irony is, if they don't take responsibility for their work now and step up, they will probably never get 'that job'. Alternatively, they'll get 'that job' then find something else to moan about and complain over.

I've also started to take less advice, I've been known ask everybody and their dog when I'm unsure about certain things. I'm not writing it off completely, people with experience and expertise are always worth talking to. But I think I was seeking the same thing people seek from 'seduction products' in the advice from friends et al "A MAGIC PILL". The way I looked at it, the more advice I get, the more I get bogged down in information, the more I feel I need to please everybody rather than doing what I want to do and what feels right to me. I'm starting to trust my gut feeling more. You know the situation you're in better than anyone else, there is often no 'answer' to your query. By seeking an 'answer' it illustrates you're afraid to fail, you're skirting around the edges, instead of taking the plunge. Therefore, let the chips fall where they may, make a decision on what you feel is right. If it is the wrong decision, you've learnt a lesson and you are richer from the experience. After all the journey is the destination.

I've rambled enough now, this shit has taken me an age to write. I'd love to hear your comments and answers to my questions. I've been drinking a lot of caffinated tea so my mind has been in overdrive today, incase anything didn't make sense

Peace and Love!

Deadmau5

2008-10-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

This weekend we hit up Victoria Works to see Deadmau5. It turned out to be an awesome night, we were just enjoying having a good time and raving it up, it was all about the music. Standard we met some girls, it goes without saying, but that was not the primary focus of the night. The venue is awesome and there were some amazing looking girls there too. It's nice to go to such events once a month or go away for the weekend to a different city. It breaks the monotony you can develop going to the same venues or the same places every week.

The week has been kind of quiet, I was out with some non game friends on Wednesday night so was mainly just opening but nothing too heavy came of it. Saturday night the same again, we were enjoying ourselves, opened here and there but nothing exciting came of it, although that was not the purpose of the night.

On Saturday night I was waiting to get picked up, bored so decided to send "you suck" to random girls I didn't recognise in my phone book or girls who I had forgotten about. I got a few messages back and managed to secure a meet with a girl I met a long ass while back. Since meeting and exchanging facebook details she has constantly poked me. As far as I'm aware she is now single, she has a boyfriend when I originally met her. So we'll see what comes of that, she commented it'd be good to actually meet up instead of poking each other which is most definitely true.

Swagger like us...

2008-10-19T12:40:00.001-07:00

I got my swagger back... this week was the week I dusted off the cobwebs for sure. I'll drop a full break down of the week when I get a chance. Saturday night was awesome, the night where all the weeks work had come together.

Tuesday night was all about getting in the swing of opening again but it was pretty chilled, me and Sunnee both sat on a couch and just shouted Hey! at girls it turned out awesome and so much fun that we were naturally in state.

Thursday was a great night again, more opening, which I had down at this point. I was dressed a bit unusual for the venue, bow tie, glasses so i looked very geek like. The girls loved it, they thought I was a sweet chode, little did they know I was like a venus fly trap. Women wanting photos of me, I felt famous, dudes coming up to me telling me I was the coolest guy in the place. I went direct on a hottie, it seemed effortless, that was when I knew the rust was off. Made out with a cool quirky looking emo girl. My only beef was that I did not really express my intentions and ended up in too much 'chodeversation' which I hate.

Saturday was awesome, I decided to open the first girl I saw up on entering a bar and carry this on. Worked perfectly, I was stating my intentions a lot more, girls were number closing me, make outs, I felt on some girls tittie to check her nipple piercing. I met a stripper who showed me her clit piercing, full pussy on show! Good times...

I just need to start leading more and taking it further, I feel Im back to where I 'was' now its time to take it past that level and beyond. I feel I have my swagger back, just need to maintain it.

I'm also thinking of reducing my internet time down. I was just reading Tyler's article on getting stuff done. I spend ages on the net wasting time which I'm sure I could reduce to 4 hour a week maybe.

downloading music

blogs

facebook

music forums

thats about it and all these can easily be checked once a week, but seem to evolve into an everyday task which you end up in rotation. It's just discipline, but it frees more time for walking, actually making music instead of looking how to make it, reading, working out, business/style stuff

I'm going to try starting this week and see how it goes.

30 Days

2008-10-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

The rust is starting to loose its grip on me and I'm slowly starting to come around. I recently read Sinn's Game Acceleration Doctrine which was really helpful in breaking down why 90% of guys don't get good at this. It points out to do things that work for you and how to properly set goals and systematically highlight your sticking points and work on breaking them down. It's a really good refreshing read that focuses on being 'normal'. The guys that get the best results from this are those that are the most 'normal'.

I set myself up a little logbook where I write down my short term, medium term and long term goals. Then my current sticking points and solutions for each of these sticking points. I then write down how I got on through out the week working on these solutions. If I'm not happy with the way the solutions are going, I propose a new solution and work on that in the following week. The idea is to keep doing this until you get another set of sticking points. It seems quite rigid but it gives you a clear game plan you have an aim when you go out other than 'just have fun' which can sometimes be too loose a term and not quite 'get laid' which is detrimental to being outcome independent. I'm not going to be posting the logbook on here but may post little snippets or things that are in the logbook depending on what goes down.

The next step of my conquest is a 30 day challenge, the majority of this is going to be done on route to and from work and on my lunch break. It won't be as hardcore as my last ones but it's the best compromise. The bulk of it will be done on my nights out but then the aim is to be opening during the day. Not with this 'what time is it' or 'how are you shit' though. I want to be focusing on stating my intent in the same way I would on an evening. I've noticed it's not opening I have a problem with but I've sorted shy'd away from 'walk ups' actually walking up to someone who is a distance away from me seems to create more anxiety. This will helpfully get me used to walking up to people which can then be taken forwarded and used on nights out. Look out for weekly round ups.

Time to feel the burn...

Wandering Nomad

2008-10-05T04:24:00.000-07:00

Last night it was good to hook up with Pirate and Bilal, not seen both of these guys in a while. It was a fairly quiet night. The weather was shit but we did a lot of bouncing too from one venue to another. I always find it difficult to warm up on such nights, I also felt that we were kind of clustered together too much like we were all waiting for someone to step up and do there thing. It never happened... I know I'm guilty of this, which lead me to something I'd been thinking about recently. Possibly going out solo, or at least going out earlier when I have the opportunity and hitting it up solo for a bit. When you're out by your self you're thrown in at the deep end, you're forced to approach and keep approaching. This game is about you, no one else so we should not be dependent on having a wing with us at all times. The idea, at leas the ideal, for me at least is to be that wandering nomad character that can go anywhere at anytime and hook up, regardless of who I'm with.

Land of the Rising Sun

2008-09-29T01:38:00.000-07:00

Don't know why I have the picture up or the title. I met Harlequin yesterday and kicked it with him for a couple of hours just chatting about various things. We talked a lot about Japan as he recently came back from there, I was asking him about the Yakuza's tattoos. I ended up getting a potential idea for my next tat, which was cool. One thing I noticed that I don't see in many other people is the ability in which he just starts conversation with everyone. He has time to talk to everyone, we spent time with this homeless dude getting to know him and finding out about his story. Usually most people would not give him the time of the day, that really hit me. Its not about picking up women specifically its about spending time with each person you meet, not being in a rush taking time out and getting to know them, regardless of if you find them attractive of not.

That's the thing, bring the treasure out of every person, love women, not sex. Leave them walking away with a big smile on their face. 'Putting rabbits in hats' as Johnny Soporno calls it. This is something I want to keep in mind and try and develop, so watch this space...

The Griminister; Online Game

2008-09-18T14:07:00.000-07:00

Last time I introduced you to 'drunk game' this time it's a personal favorite 'grime game'. It does exactly what it says on the tin, take one grimy girl + game = grime game. So this time around it involved the internet. Now as you've established by now I'm a fucking hypocrite, well most people are, but I'm happy to admit it. Once upon a time I vowed to give up online game as it took a lot of effort for minimal rewards, you were far better off going out and meeting women in person. Well guess what? My views are still the same, anyhoooooo...

I re-set up an account a couple of weeks back and earlier this week during a bout of horniness sent out a few emails. Now the email I have is gold, it was something my good friend Redblade gave me, dude used to kill match.com with it along with his profile. I couldn't even be bothered to set up a good profile, it was along the lines of; picture and one line of text. So I sent out this to a few women who were local, I ended up getting some good responses, but some never followed up. However, it was on with one of them, she looked kind of grime on her pictures but equal to the grimiest I've been with so I was like fuck it, she had big titties and sounded filth. I didn't think anything would come of it but at the last minute yesterday I got message saying she wanted to meet. So off I went...

To the etap hotel, I went up to her room and started chatting to her. I didn't ask any questions as to why she was staying in a hotel, it was one of those sorts of occasions. Fluffed a little about random stuff, I showed her my tattoos before showing her my dick! Yeah boy! she may have been grime but she was the most disgusting girl I've been with, the reason why will be revealed shortly. The girl sucked dick like a pro ;) proper worshipping my cock and slobbing all over that shit like it genuinely was her hobby. More girls should be like this, she wanted it constantly in her mouth. I ended up fucking her in the ass too, but hold up a minute... rewind... to when I was fingering her before I had penetrated. Now I'm all for sticking a cheeky finger up a girl's ass during sex and foreplay, so I took it upon myself to do so.

"stick two in...."

"you might be able to fit three"

said in a disgusting knowing way. At this rate I was like fuck it and shoved an extra one in there, this girl took four of my fingers up her ass! FREAK! but no it does not stop there, after I had done fucking her in both holes (I must add whenever it was time to put on a condom, she expertly put it on with her mouth!) she was back to blessing the cock, during which she moved south and started licking my asshole! I couldn't help but think of david x, in a none weird sexual way I must add. I finished off busting my nut in her eye, to give it that red glow.

During all of this I couldn't help but notice the engagement and wedding ring on her finger, yes she was married! Not only that but she informed me that her occupation.... an escort. I did not ask too many questions, i was like fuck it, but it explained a hell of a lot. I thought her husband knew she was seeing other guys with her being an escort and all but she informed me she kind of lead a double life, three days a week she turns into rent-a-hoe. It left me completely head fucked, what a random encounter. We chatted for a bit about social dynamics and such, she was into psychology, I retardedly asked her what she felt about women being less loyal than men, then it hit home it wasn't the best question to ask considering the circumstances, but she was cool about it. I pointed out that I had brought cheap condoms that they give you for free at the clinic, so she gave me a stash of the Durex she had shit loads of and sent me on my way.

The encounter was most definitely random. It left me thinking that I need to retire the grime game. I've been stepping up in terms of quality women recently and although this adventure was fun it's the hotties I'm in this for, it's a lot more fun when they're hot! You actually want to be intimate with them as opposed to cold sex. Maybe when I get that with the hotties I'll then feel it's about the connection you have. But I need to take one step at a time.

On the plus side though, I finally found out what a sex freak is like, I have the standard set for all future girls to compete with and head skills to go up against, that's the benchmark right now to compare how much of a sexual freak any girl I hook up with is.

And as for online game.... I still prefer going out and meeting them face to face.

Drunk Game

2008-09-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

The boy is back in the building! Yessir! Went out last Thursday and it was a return to form, not that London had been sub par but the fact I was completely inebriated made me rule it out. I wanted to see if I was still 'on it' when sober. I decided to take all the positive things from the drunk game and fuse it with my soberness.

So the randomness, the limited fear of rejection, the going for it, I emulated my drunk state so much to the point that my friend actually asked "are you drunk?" I was delighted to inform him no. The night was good I ended up making out with two hotties and just having an absolute joke with my boys saying stupid shit to women.

The second make out was a well worked set, my rustiness was still shining through has I was a bit hesitant to go for the make out. Looking back I don't know why it was blatantly on! I ended up waiting until she had to go until I got the make out. On the positive side it was a well worked set I really slowly amped up the interaction and it was a lot slower and chilled out than what I usually do. All good shizzle to move forward with. Drunk game is the shit.

I've also trying to be a bit more productive with my time, trying to get into a habit of doing certaint things everyday, even if it's only doing it for 15 minutes the face you're doing it everyday signifies your commitment and your purpose towards it. Plus it beats wasting time on the internet!

London: Mini Mansions & BDSM

2008-09-09T13:17:00.001-07:00

So London was upon us, we hit the road, glory road trip times. We arrived in London late on Friday night and was introduced to a mini mansion where we'd be staying. Our boy hooked us up, this place was off the chain. All en suite bathrooms with under floor heating, gym, swimming pool, table tennis room all in an old country manor surrounded by greenery with rabbits, squirrels and deer!

Saturday day time we head into Camden, this place was awesome, it had so many unique little market stalls including different food stalls where you could sample foods from around the world at dirt cheap prices. We head over to Nandos for our standard road trip food. While we were at Nandos we met up with one of the LSS guys, we went wandering around and then all of a sudden we were running around trying to find outfits for this fetish night. We had some how agreed to go to this fetish ball that was on that night, but we needed outfits as the dressed code was very strict, problem.... the shops were shutting at 19:00, it was now 18:30 and we had no idea what to wear.

All I'm going to say is fetish wear costs a bomb! That was out of the question, it was £40 to get into this place and being the cheap bastids that we are, we didn't want to drop another £100 on an outfit we'd be wearing once. All was not lost though, LSS dude had a suspiscion that we may get in if we dress in military uniform with no tops! Wooo! Party times! We pick up some combat pants and some random hats, mine being a cool red beret. LSS dude was very much into the army, he was a member of the TA so could hook us up with some boots so all was good. However, for some reason we went on another random quest which lead us to a gay shop in Soho... don't ask. I thought we had already got our shit but it some of the guys were still looking, we stumbled upon some paint on latex which will finish off our outfits nicely.

We headed over LSS dude's house and get changed, then head off to the rubber ball. We start to paint each other up in the queue and bump into Beckster who was with a girlfriend. He said that we'd have no problems getting in, which we didn't!

This place was off the hook, the funniest thing was we had spent so much time trying to make sure we looked like we fit but we actually stood out like a sore thumb. Every body knew we were the newbies, but it didn't matter. There were some crazy ass sights, rubber, leather and latex everywhere, hot girls with their titties out, people being lead about on a leash, stages shows, a dungeon.

We hit the dancefloor before anyone else, raving it up, suprisingly they were playing some cool dance/house stuff. The place filled up and the craziness began, there is too many hightlights, hot girls were opening me, make outs with randoms, feeling on titties, some woman at one point decided to squeeze my nipples as hard as she could. I was shit faced and barely felt a thing, she was getting in my face looking at me all erotic, I got a hard on. LOL she then said

"not bad for a first timer"

The funny thing was, there were a lot of hot girls wandering about, but a lot of the guys seemed super chode. Some dressed freaky, one girl me and Voo ran up on had a girl with her boobs out (they were hot titties) on a leash with a rubber dog mask on. Non chalantly she introduced her as "Angela". The camera loved us too, there were loads of photographers and they all wanted a picture of us. We even got this chick who was doing interviews for the dvd (turns out we were at Europes biggest fetish event) to interview us. Bare in mind she was interviewing three first timers, all shit faced, from up north on a mission for the pootietang. Our interview went something like

"Leeds official sarging teaaaaaam!!"

I was grinding with this milf in lingerie, at this point in the night I was super on, grabbing girls and telling them they were 'sexy as fuck', just totally dominating. I was grinding with her and kept running the train, smelling her hair

"you smell fucking gorgeous"

Spinning her around kissing her on the neck, she couldn't handle that shit. I kept bumping into this cute chinese chick who just hollered her myspace and website address at me. I dissed her for blatantly being on the marketing tip. Then later I saw her in the night she was like

"oh you have the body type I like"

I called her on her bullshit, but she was like "no for real" I grabbed her titties and was like

"you have the body type I like"

This is the chick before, she's called Jade Vixen and was some pro dominatrix or some shit.

There was so much to the night, too much to put everything down here. Game wise, I was totally killing it. I was however shit faced, the most drunk I have ever been in the last 2 years. But it was kind of useful as a reference point as to what I should be like sober, just a little more calibrated. I was 100% in the moment, 100% dominant, leading, sexual, completely not giving a fuck. I mean when everyone is dressed in latex, uniforms, pvc, dodgy masks and sucking on peoples toes, being lead around on leashes you really don't give a fuck. You become desensitised to it all. The weekend was off the chain, we're already looking into going to some erotic ball for Halloween in Leeds. The aura was burning, we completely shattered our comfort zones and went on an adventure... may the adventure continue.

Dangerous/The Wackness

2008-08-27T13:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a while, I don't want to dwell too much on the past but I have to fill you guys in on why I've been away. I ended up getting back to with the girl, man she's dangerous. I've probably said it before but she has too many issues. I'm aware I sound like a hypocrite after the spiel in a few blog posts down, however it was something I had to try, I was promised commitment, instead I got more of the same. To cut the long story short, there was more drama, she said she did not know what she wanted, I had come to the decision this relationship was not healthy for me and decided to cut the chord. I remember having a conversation on facebook with Ryan (you can check his blog on the right 'Ryan the animal' >>>). He had been in a similiar situation and said "she pushes all your buttons but you can't be with her" or something along those lines. It was the truth, she did push all my buttons, she was dangerous. But it has come to an end, this time it IS FOR REAL! lol. I promised Sunnee that that was it. So I'm back in the game for a second time!

This is where the second part of the title comes in, I'm rusty as hell! I've been out only a handful of times and just feel so out of it. I just read the post I titled 'I'm back', I realise I just have to get into talking to people as soon as I enter the bar or club. Otherwise it's lights out, I'm really in the best position I've ever been in, after Prague I knew exactly what I had to do, that information is still there, the calibration is still there, I just have to get into the swing of opening once again. I'm planning on moving to Leeds into the party house, which will make going out even fore a few hours a lot easier allowing me to rebuild that momentum. It's all about recapturing that closer mentality, not endless chodeversation, but willing to get rejected (still my biggest sticking point) leading and demonstrating your sexual intentions. It's all inside of me and I know I've just been getting stuck inside my head and not allowing it out of the cage. I also want to become more independent with this shit, I'm doing it for me, it comes down to me and the girl, no wings etc but more on that in the furture.

London is calling, a weekend away... time to bring it back.

Prague: Taking what you want

2008-07-11T03:45:00.000-07:00

Prague baby! We finally did it. We had been talking about going for a while, I managed to book the time off work and we sorted the rest out about a month ago. Seven nights in Prague was the result. It is an amazing city, really picturesque. Every corner has a monument of some sort and the architecture was beautiful.

The night life was cool, I particularly liked the industrial feel of the clubs, they were all low key and in old buildings. My personal favorites were Mecca and Roxy.

There were a lot of travelers too which made it cool, we were constantly meeting people from different countries on nights out, we even got mistaken for spanish dudes hahaha.

As for game it was pretty much a testament to taking what you want. The first few days I was just getting a feel for things and often found that I was stifled and in my head thinking about stupid shit like language barriers. One thing we did notice was if you hesitated when dancing someone would step up and take the girl you were 'thinking' about opening. Though you barely needed to talk, just lead and escalate. A lot of this went down on the dance floor, guys grinding up against girls. There was no room for hesitance it was step up or step away.

I was out one night and there were these two cute girls grinding with each other, later I caught one eye fuck me as I walked past her, I grabbed her and pulled her in. She was Italian, I caught her again later and walked down to the rnb room with her, we started grinding and making out with her. She told me I was beautiful, more caressing and making out. I put her hand on my cock and started rubbing her pussy through her knickers. Fuck this... I thought, grabbed her hand and pulled her into the women's toilets. I started undoing my pants and whipped out my cock. She was playing with it but freaking out at the same time, no condom.... i pulled one out to show her. She was moaning about the light, trying to smash it, her English was shit so I didn't really know what she was on about. I tried pulling off her knickers but she wasn't having any of it and at this point people were walking past she freaked out and tried opening the door while my dick was hanging out.

The more we went out the more I got in the groove, just grinding up against girls, grabbing their hands twirling them around and then grinding with them.

We hit up Roxy later in the week, this place was awesome, the atmosphere was right. As soon as I got in I ended up talking to this cute German girl, I kept bumping into her and accused her of stalking me, she asked me to buy her a drink, me....

"your kind of sexy but not 'that' sexy... "

pull in, make out.

We go dance for a while, raving it up with an Irish girl and an Aussie. Then decide to go get some drinks from the shop outside. It was free entry in so you can come and go as you please. I'm walking through the sea of people and feel someone grab my wrist, I look up and there is cute as fuck girl. Kind of skater looking, tattoos, piercings, short dark hair, beautiful skin and cute ass dimples and smile. She cups my face and makes out with me, then off into the night goes.... Shock and Awe on my ass!

I get to the bottom of the steps and this plumpish czech girl stops me about my t shirt. She's on it I stand and talk but im not really feeling this girl, but fuck it. I tell her we're going for a walk and proceed to drag her outside. Once outside I pull her in this deep doorway, and start to get freaky, she's tossing me off and i'm kissing her neck. I try to get her to suck my dick, no go... she start's freaking out after a while about her friends. I managed to switch her mind away from then but before too long she's back to freaking out. We walk back and I notice we were about 20ft away from a Police station, cool. I got her number before she left to find her friends, she said I could go back and stay at hers but I couldn't be assed, I wasn't feeling her that much.

The final night and the Nimbus was full blazing, I was grabbing and grinding girls left right and centre. stepping up and taking what I felt. I noticed in the five story club we were in that i was running game like The Pheromone Kid talked about. Strong eye contact, soaking up the IOIs that girls gave back to you then picking off those ones for fast escalation.

Prague taught me a lot, it showed me I was still self seeking; worrying about other people's opinions rather than my own. I wasn't stepping up and taking what I wanted, the consequence was another guy would. Back home, the guys are too chode to do this so you have ample amounts of time to get in your head, still approach and not get punished. Here, if you don't step up you better believe someone else will within the next minute.

It showed me the importance of leading and escalating, you don't need to say shit to girls and still escalate pretty far, verbals aren't necessary. It also taught me about dance game, which is mainly all down to stepping up and having the balls to take what you want. Trust yourself and not what other people think. I truly saw the rings of chode around girls dancing, you have to bust through that and be prepared to get blown out in front of the chodes to succeed. There is nothing fancy about being on the dance floor other than going for it.

yeaaah buddy

Newcastle: The Rebirth

2008-07-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend gone saw me and the boys hit up Newcastle. We stayed for two nights and had plenty of fun. Newcastle is an awesome city for partying in and is full of turbo hotties so fun times ensued. The main thing I got from the Newcastle trip though was the realisation that I really need to switch it up to the next gear. The highlight for me was almost getting a girl back to the hotel. It started by me jumping in front of two girls sat down and seeing how their night was going.

I did it to kill some time while Bil was talking to two other girls at the bar. I instantly tried making out with one of them but she wasn't feeling it. Then turned my attention to the other and was just vibing with her. She asked where I was staying, I told her a travelodge, turns out they were staying in one but in a different part of Newcastle.

At the reception desk they had given us these little cut out pieces of paper with the address on, so I pulled one out of my back pocket and put it down her bra, making sure I copped a feel of her nipples. I cheekily told her that was for later, she replied saying she didn't know what room I would be staying in. So I took out the piece of paper and asked for a pen. She said she didn't have one but asked for my number. So we exchanged numbers, made out before we went. Five minutes after we left I txt her

"I rock, woo"

to which she replied

"I rock more"

Sorted.

I went on and did my thing for the rest of the night, until we were just about to leave I got a txt from her

"What you up to?x"

Turns out she was back at her travelodge, so I told her we were going back to ours and she should come over. Murphy pointed out I should get her postcode and just turn up, that way she could not deny me sex. Murphy was right, but I carried on trying to get her to come to ours, she was making lame excuses, then I suggested we came over but it was too late.

Now it is those little things that make the difference, pushing it at the right points. I came close but did not push it properly at the right time.

We also met 10pin who was a cool dude, he has been on fire this past week posting four LRs in total. The thing I love about them is that they are all textbook and you can clearly see the points that made the difference. He is also just a cool regular dude it's good to see someone like that getting results from this shit. I sat down and read one of his LRs and thought to myself where would I have given in? Where would I have called it a night and accepted the validation the girls had given to me?

So I'm going to paraphrase his LR and break down the points where I would have probably thrown in the towel. This is purely for reference for me.

Last night I got blow out, stalked by a girl, blow out, blow out, blow out, threatened with violence, then a 2 set down to fuck almost immediately. And the 2 set was probably the hottest in the club.

I don't get rejected enough, which means when I do it ruins my state. Pure and simple I need to get rejected more, which means start opening hotter women.

Forearm grab this cutie walking past. 'Oi. What's your name?' she's startled so I just repeat it. FULL BREAKING RAPPORT. Opens right up. I have nothing but intent so just go for the makeout. She dodges with 'boyfriend' excuses, to which I tell her I have one too. She looks at me, tries to make sense of this, fails, and instead we go and sit in the VIP bit.

Here I would have bottled it and let her probably go on her way. But he leads her, something I don't do enough. Lead, move around the venue with the girl.

Now, on the dancefloor I almost lost it. She kept coming in close, and then waltzing away. I could hardly even get her in for a grind. But instead of panicking, I just shrugged and laughed.

We grind for a few seconds here and there, but nothing much. The song she likes is ending, and she is about to leave. TIME TO GO FULL CAVEMAN DELUXE...

I grab her as she is waltzing off:

'Come the fuck here.'

Makeout.

Doesn't need much explainantion.

I lead her to the cloakroom, get my jacket. Her jaw drops. She's about to start protesting and saying 'no'...I know what I need.

Rapid state break.

So I just instantly caveman her over to the booth, using my isolation line, 'Lets find a happy place. Lets go to the happy place' (wtf....it works). Take her into the booth. Slam up against the wall. Put her hand on my cock, start fingering her.

She says:

'Oh for fucks sake, lets go'.

Glory times...

Again, here the difference is he lead, and escalated making sure his sexual intent shone through.

Which kind of highlights to me, that I'm not getting rejected enough, I'm definitely not leading enough and I'm not getting sexual. A lot of the time I'm trying to get these meaningless make outs that don't really mean shit. They just give the girl her little bit of validation so she can carry on with the rest of the night.

On the plus side I have been getting more numbers and make outs, this is because I switched up and aimed to try and close every set. I'm less concerned with the make outs, I know I can do that. They don't really serve a purpose to try and get one in every set unless you're uncomfortable going for them. However, I have been going for numbers more which is what I'm happy about.

Seems counter productive?

Well, for a long time I got hooked on going for make outs thinking that naturally they would lead to ONS. Numbers were for setting up day2's. However, Newcastle and Tim's blog and Alexander's helped put a new spin on things.

Tim talks about the rhythm 10-2, he says that between 10-12 a girl is not really going to go home with you because she has just come out, or just got into the club. So at this point I'm going to close everything, get them numbers. Setting up potential meets later in the night, if it doesn't happen from the numbers you have them stored so you can follow them up a couple of days later. If for whatever reason you don't bump into each other again, she has your number and it may follow through into a potential day2. The Newcastle chick is still txting me even though we didn't meet.

From 12-2 this is when it's closing down time, like 10pin said "it's not a close unless it's a full close" truer words have never been spoken.

Here I need to start leading girls, I don't do this enough. I can be dominate opening, not afraid to kino escalate, but actually moving them around is something I rarely do. I also need to get sexual more, have more intent like right now it's ON! When I mean ON I mean I'm ready to fuck, sometimes I can forget the reason I'm out at all. I also need to make sure I keep on approaching, between 1-2 I can sometimes get tired and mentally give up because I loose state.

State is for pussies!

Tiredness is not the problem, it is when you loose state you become a pussy and become afraid to approach. Realising this and ploughing through, starting small opening consistently when you 'loose state' is what I need to start doing.

Anyway, next stop is Prague...

So until next time...

Peace

I'm Back

2008-06-15T07:19:00.000-07:00

I'm Back!

Yeah, The blog is back bitches. It's been a while so I guess I better fill you in. Me and the girl ended she got back with her ex and it seems he is still giving her shit and she is still not happy. We're still in touch, but I can never get back with her. I made the decision a while back, I've moved on and for me to get with her at any point in the future would leave me feeling like I was 'settling'. We can remain friends however.

So I'm back in the Game, wearing that 45, the MJ of this shit. I was a little rusty at first, once I got back into talking to women I noticed the magic started to happen. Little bits came out that made me go WHOA!. It was just the opening I found I was rusty at. However, like they say you're never above the process and even when you are really good with women you still have to obey that. I forgot to get warmed up, as soon as I found myself getting into conversation upon entry of a bar or club the opening issue went away.

My only problem now is knowing when it's 'on' to switch up those gears and drive it all the way home. We visited Preston last night and on a couple of occasions I felt I could have really taken it further but my rustiness prevented me. I've sorted out a lot of issues and matured into more of a man. I need to keep all the things I've learnt in check and prevent the old thought patterns and issues coming back. But I also want to take things to the next level and really progress as a man and take what I want. This may mean going direct on a girl during the day when I see someone who warrants such action. Or grabbing that hottie that walks past in the club, being honest and driving things all the way home. Finally not buckling under social pressure and taking action when I need to.

Anyway... it's good to back.

Honest Expression; Becoming a Man

2008-05-27T14:15:00.001-07:00

This is probably the hardest, most raw and by far the most important blog that I've written to date. In the last month and a half I have been through so much, a roller coaster ride of emotions, highs, lows, good times, bad times, stress, joy and I've had to do some really deep soul searching. The irony was, as I was going through this time my 'game' so to speak improved and became effortless. At the same time though, I had to exorcise some demons and really be truthful with who I was and where I was going. This was by far the hardest thing I've done to date since taking this journey to transform myself. I've had to burn the candle inside myself until there was nothing more to burn, until I had become comfortable with discomfort.

First let me explain the situation, make sure you're comfortable it may be a long ride...

Ok, The last post touched on the first night I spent with the girl I've been seeing. I continued to see her about once or twice a week. We went out ate food, chilled together and talked a lot finding out about each other's lives. As I was told, we drew closer together, however part of me was stressed. I loved spending time with her, part of me hated the fact I loved spending time with her. She knew about my 'player persona' from her best friend who is also one of my good friends. We often joked around about that and I told her some of the things I had gotten up to in the past, which was cool. She didn't judge and neither did I, she is probably the most 'sexually experienced' girl I have been with too so it was not like she was a prude.

However, the thing that really got to me and it got to her too was we were both ready for sex. I was in a catch 22 situation. I was so in my head and wanted it to be so good that I had put 'sex' on this huge pedestal but I wanted to do it and share the experience with her. Whenever it came to 'that' moment I lost my erection. She started to question herself thinking I did not find her attractive. It was a really stressful time for me, one night I finally penetrated her... with no condom. I knew it was stupid of me and I so wanted to carry on, she was more sensible however and suggested using a condom... you know what happened... a lot of fumbling, I went back inside my head and a loss of erection.

I was totally stressed out at this point, I wanted to do it so badly with her. All the other girls I did not care about, it just happened. The fact I cared made it worse because I wanted it even more, this very thing just caused me more problems. Now, at this point we both had admitted to liking each other. This was really fucking with my concept of who I was, I had built up this persona of being a player and it was tormenting me, all swirling round in my head.

We had originally stated to be fuck buddies, but the time we were spending with each other made us come together on a deeper level. I knew this was happening and part of me hated it and part of me loved it. See it was not supposed to happen and I knew that it would end up in pain. Then there was my friend who is also her best friend causing problems between us by saying if she did no sleep with me I would go off and find someone else for sex. She was unaware of 'my problem'. But she was also causing tension by filling this girl's head with thoughts that I was a player and I was just using her and would end up hurting her. However, she was unaware just how deep our conversations had been and how honest we had been with each other.

The first real lesson came when I had been speaking with my good friend and he told me to lay it all out on the table. This took amazing courage, I did not decide to do it until I just got caught up in the moment and literally broke down.

We were in bed and she asked me what was up, I just broke down and started crying I explained everything that was bothering me. How I liked her and how I cared about her and wanted to really have sex with her but there was immense pressure and I wanted it to be good. I also told her how I was prepared to not see her again as the sheer stress from it was hurting me so bad. She started crying.... we did some talking and some deep bonding. It was an emotional point. But afterwards I felt so liberated from doing it and I could sense that she felt liberated too. This lead me to one of my realisations... as my boy Sunnee says (you made the blog man!)

It is confident to show vulnerability

You better believe after I did that, Sex was not a problem it never became an issue. It brought us closer, we pretty much became exclusive, she stated she did not want to sleep with anyone else and I reciprocated her sentiments. But this still fucked with my ego a little, I had already battered it by laying out on the table and honestly expressing myself.

However, more bullshit happened between us, due to a miss understanding. This really made me reflect on the situation and discuss things with Sunnee and we talked about being a man and masculinity. He asked me what I wanted and I could not tell him straight, he had to force it out of me until I admitted I wanted to have her as a girlfriend. And at the same point we both started being 100% honest with each other. It is a refreshing experience and something I pride myself on and try and take it forward in everything I do. Being honest and honestly expressing yourself cuts out a lot of misunderstanding and bullshit.

I also realised the lessons I had started to learn and started to really reflect on myself. I no longer felt like I was acting like a chode for liking a girl. I realised that I had been running around really with insecurities and issues that I thought did not exist, I was a little boy trying to manipulate women into sleeping with me. It was time to become a man, I had got to the top of one mountain and then realised there was a bigger one next to me. The reason I had felt like a chode was down to me coming back down the mountain in order to start my quest to the top of the higher peak.

But only now have I really felt like I have progressed. I've struggled with some demons, broke down jealously, feeling insecure, feeling inadequate. I'm learning to let go and accept the moment, I can only control myself and my actions. I cannot control the future nor can I control the past. One of the biggest lessons I learnt was to not think for the girl, you cannot do the unthinkable and mind read, so why put yourself under emotional stress by trying to think what she is thinking. To truly be honest and express oneself honestly, this leads to you no longer 'gaming' sometimes you can end up gaming when all you need to do is be honest. When you strip yourself down and give it to somebody in it's purest form they value you because it takes courage to do that. I've learnt to master my emotions, to accept things for what they are and focus on my purpose and my journey. Feel the burn and accept it until it no longer burns, until you become a rock that people can depend on. Never doubt yourself and stay on your path, have a purpose in life.....

Where are you going?

and who is coming with you?

Me and Sunnee were discussing some really deep stuff and he told me something that resonated within me. You have to truly let go, imagine there is a set of keys on a table. Gravity is pulling them to the floor but the table is stopping them. The keys are trying to get the floor, all this time we have been taking the keys off the table and putting them on the floor. To truly let go you must pull the table from beneath the keys letting them hit the floor. This is the quickest way for them to reach their destination, but by doing so you must let go and be prepared to pull the table away.

So where am I now?

Well the situation with me and the girl got complicated, we were both ready for a relationship. However, she got a txt from her 'ex fiancé' who wanted to meet for a coffee. To cut a long story short she met him and had a long discussion with him. She realised that she was not 100% over him and still had some feelings for him. But she really liked me, she needed some space and some time to think things through.

This has been my biggest test yet, I've had to really master my emotions and accept things, I was not hurt, but upset. Part of it was my ego hurting, the thought of her going back to him hurt my ego more than it actually hurt me. But I realised it was for her to decide, I have enjoyed my time with her and I'm grateful for the journey and the growing I've done while being with her. I cannot control anything other than myself. I have my own path I'm moving towards and continued to move towards it. I explained to her that if she needs some space then that's cool she knows where to find me.

A few days went by and she txt me, by then I had 100% completely accepted the situation and was happy with whatever outcome. I explained to her that whatever she decides I'm cool with and I'm here for her and will not act any differently towards her. Bitterness, jealously, anger, frustration, resent are all the easy options. It is far harder to really dig deep and master your emotions and express yourself honestly.

I did however think it was over... I doubted myself...

I saw her last night, she wanted to see me, she missed me. Her ex had been texting her.... I had not, I gave her the space she wanted. She explained every time her ex text her, she wished it was me and realised she missed me.

I told her that I meant what I said about her making her decision, she said that I was amazing and she had so much respect for me. The fact I said that to her only made her like me more...

So what now? She still has to decide...

Until then, I stay on my purpose, a changed man, I know where I am going... and I'm going there regardless... I'm going there with class, honesty, integrity, responsibility, authenticity, confidence, passion... but I'm going there as a man... the little boy has died.

Mixed Up Emotions

2008-04-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

Strange title from a 'PUA' you'd think, I suppose this is the conundrum. Ok, cast your mind back to the last post or scroll down the screen, remember HBcoldread? Well the saga continues...

Basically, we had arranged to meet on Sunday night to watch the Grudge 2 after seeing the first movie with her on our previous meet up. We met in town and got some food and drinks and kind of picked up where we left off, but this time it was a little more intense. We got back to hers and ended up just making out heavily, going up to her room watching the movie and then back to making out. Clothes off... she was an amazing tease and gave me possibly the best head ever, swallowing a week's worth of my load for the finale. Out comes the tiger tantra shit... fingering all the good stuff.. we were both horny but I started freaking out about busting my nut earlier and whether or not I'd be able to get wood. Sounds fucked up, but I was high as a muthafucka on caffine, I'm pretty sensitive to the stuff, it makes me horny like hell but also gets me in my head.

So I just chilled, it didn't matter as we were both enjoying ourselves. The next morning, making out, she gave me some crazy ass hand job. I swear I was climaxing for like a minute straight it was some weird shit. Anyway, I do some more tiger tantra stuff on her, go down on her it's all gravy. We spend most the day in bed just relaxing in each others arms playing around like teenagers.

She mentioned that it was nice that I didn't just want to use her for sex and actually wanted to spend time with her. I told her that 'often we focus on sex viewing it on the end goal and try and race to get there, instead of just enjoying the moment and the other person's presence'. She mentioned that she was a bit unsure about sleeping with me because I've already slept with one of her best mates. I think these were both just like reframes, it was strange because we both blatantly wanted to fuck the shit out of each other but it just didn't happen.

We spent most the day rolling around in the sheets on some sensual seduction shit, getting up to eat then going back into bed and fooling around again.

Now this could either leave the sexual tension on a high so the next time we meet it's explosive and it's ON! Or I've just kick started her sex drive again, shot myself in the foot and she is going to go find someone else to fuck her senseless.

Now, today I've kind of been messed up. I enjoy spending time with her, we both said we don't want a relationship. HBphoto warned her that I would not be interested in one and she said she'd like to see me again but doesn't want anything serious. She also said she doesn't mind seeing other girls and she was texting some dude and might be going on a date with him. I was like that's cool.

Now the fucked up thing is, I don't want a relationship, but I like the girl and feel a bit chodey because of it. I don't know if it;s because I did not seal the deal and she has a potential 'date' and that makes me feel like I'm on the back burner. I went out last night, got a random make out but the feeling after really summed up that the random make outs are nothing any more. I think this situation is really shining a light in my character. On one hand I'm jealous, yeah I'm not afraid to be honest, probably jealous that she has other potentials. On the other hand it shows that I still need that validation, the validation of a extraction, a day 2, a date.

I really need to keep going out and not let myself slip into any chodely behaviour.

Being with her really reminded me of being with my ex, she did certain stuff that was scarily smiliar. Alarm bells did go off in my head when I was getting cosy like "ODB, if you're going to be fucking this girl why are you acting all coupley" But I genuinely enjoyed her company, I know it is not the 'PUA' thing to do, but I think that is half the problem.

The 'player' image; we all 'think' we'd be cool seeing a girl who is seeing other guys, but if that only works when you're seeing other girls, then it exposes a huge flaw in your character. In reality a lot of guys, including myself, are still a distance from truly taking on that mentality and being comfortable with it. There is also the fact that in the PUA community we're meant to be almost emotionless, like it's all about the sex. I was in that boat until I found someone I enjoyed spending time with and it wasn't actually about the sex. But we have this player image to perpetuate and keep up, when really it's existence tells us that we don't fully have core confidence nailed.

I've found some huge holes in my character, In a way I'm glad I have found them now. The player thing has us hiding behind our outer game so to speak. My outer game and my confidence got me here. I mean, ultimately a hot girl just swallowed a weeks worth of my load, I should be happy. Almost two years ago I would not have had the skill to get myself into that situation. I would have bottled it some where a long the line. Now I have that shit down, but even if I keep hearing "you're so confident" it's confidence in knowing the techniques, being calibrated. But not really having my foundations fully set, I thought I did, but ultimately this has pointed out there is still a long way to go.

Serious

2008-04-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

Remember the cold read girl? Well there is a story in that. Her and HBphoto are friends and live together. I spent most of yesterday just kicking it with them. Now lets go back a few week, I went out with them before I went to Sweden and we took some photos. The cold read girl (HBcr) starts chatting to me when I get back from Sweden and informs me her boy friend was pissed at one of the photos of me and her and he thought she had cheated on him with me.

Now it is the talk of a chode, there is not doubt about it. But this is interesting, even though I knew she really likes this guy, what he did would eventually drive her into my arms. Tyler mentions it on the blueprint how when guy get jealous with their girlfriends they end up just going along with what their boyfriends assume they're doing. Almost like a self fulfilling prophecy. So id you keep thinking she is cheating on you, she will think "I might as well cheat on him because he thinks I am anyway".

I don't agree with cheating and I would never step in or actively try and disrupt some ones relationship, definitely not this girl who was already a sort of friend. Anyway he ended up dumping her and so she is single. All the while I've remained indifferent and just acted normal, just being myself around her. I noticed all the chodes crawling out of the wood work when they heard she was now single. The girl is cute, petite, cute face and a nice figure with gorgeous dimples. I genuinely like the girl and can spend time with her which is rare.

Yesterday I had the day off so she asked if I wanted to hang out with her we spent most of the day in town eating and joking around. It got to the evening and she invited me to watch a movie. To be honest I was kind of tired and thought about going home but then thought fuck it, i'll go along anyway. I had sensed from earlier in the day she was into me, with all the playfulness between us and the banter. Next came the incidental kino, its kind of weird how you instantly pick up on this shit because you're calibrated.

We went back to hers and watched the football, then slipped on a DVD HBphoto went to be which just left us. We spent the rest of the time making out, fondling each other and just cuddling up. It was a bit 'coupley' which I was a bit concerned about but then on the other hand I should just go with it. She is an awesome girl and it felt right and nice, for a change rather than meaningless hook ups, there was a bit more of a connection. We'll see where this one leads...

Titties!

2008-04-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

I tried to think of something that I had learnt or experienced this week that could make the blog. Unfortunately, nothing came to mind, other than our deep conversation we had at the end of our night on Saturday. That's right folks, Boobs, Titties!! Breasts... The craze is spreading like wildfire throughout our camp. I've always secretly liked them but kind of masqueraded as ass man for a while. Hey, I'll take both T&A any day but I'm definitely all about the breasts. It got to the point where I'd sincerely complement girls on their breasts if I felt they were due one. I've never had a bad reaction to this either. So we were all starring at this girls chest in Kadas, hardly 'playerish' I know, but fuck it. Voojitsu commented on how he was joining me and Mayhem in the tittie camp and how our love for the round orbs had rubbed off on him. It probably explains why I like 'thick' girls too. If you are not well versed in the terminology

a girl who isn't fat or skinny, but is well proportioned, has enough meat on her bones in all the right places, most men like the thick ones

A woman with a perfect body, filled-in in places that are, by nature, designed to attract the opposite sex, such as the thighs, the hips, the breasts, and the most lovely part of all, the booty.

Anway, this weeks round up as follows

- Closer Mentality

Crap, could have got make outs with one or two girls and facebook closed another girl. Should have pushed it but was kind of lethargic in terms of this.

- Pushing the comfort zone

Hmm, better than last week, I felt the burn slightly once or twice but not as much as I'd have liked.

- Flow

Crap, this is an area that needs major work, both me and my wing were discussing this is our weakest area.

- Plowing

Probably the most improved area at the moment, I felt once or twice in the night I ended up plowing where in the past I would have left it. In on instance it completely flipped the girls around. At first they were cold as ice but when they left it was a different story and should have really pushed it more for a close.

- Creativity

Alright, with plowing this is probably my second most improved, but it was never my weakest area anyway.

Tomorrow May Never Come...

2008-03-30T13:10:00.001-07:00

This is a round up for the week like I promised, there was no real ah ha! moments that I experienced first hand while being out this week. I do want to point out that I finished listening to the blueprint and damn! that is some dope shit. Truly messed with my head and completely made me see the social world in another light. It was at a nice point too where I have set myself a goal to achieve for the end of summer, to have that 'kick it off' so to speak was good as it gave me the necessary drive and information to take it to the next level.

So I went out on Thursday night and really had an awesome night, I was dancing all night long. In terms of talking to women I didn't talk to as many as usual but I did end up closing a girl on the way out. This is a reminder that as long as you're enjoying yourself you know your bringing the party you don't have to be talking to girls every split second of the night. You have the skills to see it through. Like before you have to play it carefully and not use having fun as an excuse not to push it, but it illustrates you don't have to be 'value scanning' the room for the next 'set'.

- Closer mentality

I could have done better here, however I did close a girl on the way out and ended up getting a make out with her. There was just me and her at the end of the night outside. All the guys had disappeared, I had tried getting the girl to come to Kadas with us, a place we go to eat. Now she wouldn't come, I plowed and got a make out with her, so I tried again, no go. She said that she had to go inside to meet her friends. But she stayed, now I was like cool and went to find my friends...

- Pushing the comfort zone

Ok.. so really there were a few points in the night I did push it 'slightly' and a few where I did not at all. Notice I left the above paragraph unfinished. Well, the girl stayed, truly pushing my comfort zone and having that closer mentality... I should have taken her somewhere and gone for a full close. I mean, the girl stood there, yes she said she had to go find her friends but she stood there. Afterwards I thought to myself, why did I not try and move her? "Come follow me..." or "Hey, lets go on an adventure.." This is probably my weakest area most definitely, I'm still not feeling the burn enough.

- Flow

Again, an area that I have probably neglected the most. At the start of the night I was on it and talking to people but then I died down a little more. On Saturday night it was none existent and this is the main reason why the night sucked in terms of meeting people. Enter then venue 'BAM!' Bringing the party, talking to people. I mean having fun is priority and if you're not in state or cannot draw it from within then yeah but you still need that momentum to start being social and talking to people.

- Plowing

I've got better at this marginally, I had to plow to get my make out so that is a bonus and I know I have started ploughing a little more. I remember though on Thursday night some hottie giving me shit, I just joked around and stood in my Bboy stance and she started laughing... I left it at that. PLOW!! PLOW!! MOFO! Seems straight forward now, but at the time for whatever reason I did not do it. There were other instances I know for sure when I should have plowed.

- Creativity

I'm ok in this area, not super good but Ok. I demonstrated to myself and my friends you can truly open with ANYTHING.

The Hustle: "Titties...over there"
ODB: Shouting.... "TIIITTTTIIEEESSS!! *Points at the girl with a :-O expression*

She hears, looks and double takes... I smile and wave then high five her.. all gravy....

Saturday I lacked every point I mentioned and was just doing enough to get by. But it highlighted I still have a long way to go.

Liverpool

2008-03-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

"Why is this place the capital of culture?"

"because of the music and all that shit, its a cultural place"

"yeah i suppose, but check out all these boarded up houses"

Coming into Liverpool was a bit grimey, there is a lot of derelict and rundown areas. But when you get into the city centre it comes alive. I love this place. It is definitely one of my favorite party places in the UK. We went over for an adventure, four of us, on the night of glory. We knew which bars/clubs to hit up, alma de cuba and garlands. Alma de cuba is just full on extreme awesomeness. That place is the benchmark all other bars at judged against. Imagine an old church with the remains inside still preserved, but slightly refurbished. The DJ up on an alter, candles for the light. Then add in some latin house, girls straight from a south american carnival dancing on tables and blossom petals raining down on you as you dance the night away. If you're not in state in the place you have no soul, EVERYBODY is in the party spirit and are a lot more upbeat. Glorious times.

We ended our night in garlands, you're typical house club in the gay district. Think lots of hot girls, just be careful you don't pick a tranny, lol. Again, everyone here is in that party spirit, the music is awesome and there are plenty of hotties... oh and the standard unisex toilets.

I had a heavy night again, ended up making out with a massive racked girl in garlands, this took some effort as I had to plow a little. She facebook closed me and wants to come to Leeds so we'll see how that works out. On the way out she was like "facebook me".

Now I'm going to run down the night according to how I did with my goals.

- closer mentality

Pretty well, went for make outs on numerous occasions. Got knocked back by one girl so got her number so we could try and bounce them to garlands. These two milfs were on it, but i think we would have had to invested a lot more time with them. Two of the boys were ready to leave the bar so we left them. Tried the make out with these but it was a no go. In garlands got the make out and facebook closed one girl. I was grinding with another who I should have spun round so we were face to face and gone for it then. But I'm happy on this front.

- pushing the comfort zone

Could have done better with this, I felt the burn a little last night but not loads. I'd say it was a slight improvement on most nights, but this definitely needs more work. For example I was talking to one girl who was with her bf, when he came in I stayed for a little bit, but the burn got the better of me.

- Flow

Did well with this in alma de cuba, not as well in garlands. Main point with this is to open more mixed groups/guys.

- Plowing

Happy with this area, got the scouse bitch shield from one girl, plowed with her and turned it around. Had to plow for my make out too. This area was ok, but is also directly linked to pushing the comfort zone. I should have plowed when the bf came into the group.

- creativity

alright in spurts, I found the more tired I got the less creative I was. Something to consider for next time. Say whatever comes into your head.

The Death of 'Sarging': Birth of The Natural

2008-03-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Sounds like the title to a movie sequel right?

Well it is something that I have been thinking about recently, I made a post on the majestic self about it and I'm going to copy and paste the sections that I wrote over there. It was what I was thinking at the time, a realisation, so it is pretty raw. I just wrote it as it came to me but I want to put it here for reference and as I feel it kind of marks the next step in my transformation. I also want to re post what I feel I need to address on nights out to improve. I already posted the list, but the break to Sweden made me completely forget them. So from now on after every night I'm going to write a short paragraph detailing how I did on each point. Just so I know which areas I need to improve on. I want to get this shit down by the end of summer so that is my goal. I'll continue to post once a week. At the end of each post will be a paragraph for each of the nights I went out during that week and a brief summary of how I did in accordance to reaching my goals.

BTW, the picture is by no means meant to be disrepectful, it was just the first thing I got when I hit 'Sarging' in google image search. Go figure...

Ok here are my brain dumps so to speak.

I was talking to a random guy on my MSN, I've met him once or twice but mainly talk to him online. I told him I was going away and he asked the following question.

"Sarging or Chilling?"

Now I have been thinking about this for some time. It kind of irritated me, not that I hate the word, but maybe because I've grown beyond it or grown out of it.

It's just I'm kind of disillusioned with the word 'Sarging' now, whenever someone mentions it I get the image of creepy guys jumping out on girls in clubs. Now I don't want to seem 'above' or disrespectful to guys that are new to all of this but I just think there need to be a general reframe.

I was talking to my wing about this the other night, I don't want to be the guy who walks into a venue and 'selectively' scopes out girls, while doing laps hunting. I want to walk into the room bringing the party, befriending the entire place, just being the naturally cool sexworthy guy we all are.

After a while going out and talking to women becomes synonymous. When I'm out it doesn't matter who I am with I'll always spark up conversation with a girl. Even if it is only very brief or short, it's just ingrained now into every fibre of my being. However, don't get it twisted, I am stilling learning and I am in no way, shape or form 'above the process'.

But it's like Tyler says this shit is not something we do but something we are.

So going back to the initial question, I don't understand why people cannot accept you can do both? Why should an outing be all about meeting women or all about chilling and having fun with your friends? Why can it not be about both. There comes a point where shouldn't need to 'turn it on' it's just assumed... you go out you will meet women.

...............................................................................................................

I was just trying to think for a second if I can generate the same 'feeling' towards going out tonight as I used to have pre-game. And even though I know tonight I'm going out my with my friends to have a good time there is this little undertone, like a vibration that deep down I know it's secretly about going out to meet women.

It's like I've been going out 'sarging' for so long now that it's almost a give. Night out = must meet women. I know the words we use shape the world we live in, so I feel using the word kind of reaffirms that you're going out to 'do it'. You're going out 'to pick up women'. But you want to be in a place where you just 'are'. I know that can sound abstract and almost like a double edged sword, the idea is to go out with the intention of having a good time and then as a result meet women. But pretty much every guy I see and what I have been doing in the past, is go out with the intention of meeting women under the guise of 'having fun'. But as soon as you get into the venue you see them.... 'looking'...

I'm going to try an experiment tonight to go out and just have a good time, I want to recapture that feeling I used to have before I went out on a night before I 'gamed'. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a bad time when I go out 'picking up' but it's not quite the same feeling, its like.. there is still the hidden agenda.

........................................................................................................

Yeah, this is the double edged sword I mentioned. It is easy to make an excuse and say oh I'm only having fun tonight. That's why I said I'm not above the process, you still have to put in some sort of work. This is why I said I was rambling bollocks because I can't really express what I mean. It's that fine line between just being that naturally sexworthy guy going out to have fun and meeting women anyway. As opposed to going out to meet women.

For example I went out with a friend of mine recently and her friend, the intention was to go out and just have a good time. I did, we danced, chatted bollocks and the like. I ended up talking to a fair few girls that night, making out one and then making out with my friends friend. This wasn't a 'sarging' night but see how because I'm starting to make this shit into who I am, I still had the same results if not better than if it had been a 'sarging night'.

Anyway... I still have much love and mad respect to the guys who are out their putting their balls on the line consistently each week. I know a lot of people do use the excuse of 'having fun' to chode it up.

That is the end of the extracts from my post on TMS, the following section is what I have already posted two posts down. I'm just reposting it to reinforce it. In addition, watch this space for a round up each week of how I am getting on in terms of reaching these goals. The deadline is the end of September. That is 6 months to get this shit handled, wish me luck.

* Truly becoming a closer
I know when it is time to close and go for the make out I can do it, there is little hesitation. However, while this is a step to becoming a 'closer' I don't feel it is the complete package. Closing every set should be the frame, if not going for a make out, go for a number close, if no number, facebook. If you've made out and logistics are fucked up, you cannot extract or isolate, go for the number. I don't care if I know it will totally flake, its the actual 'act' of going for it that counts not the number itself. I'm getting something, even if it is some phoney ass digits or facebook because I pissed her off.

* Pushing the Comfort Zone
I have touched on this already, however to add some extra points. I just need to loose control a little more just chill out and not give as much of a fuck. Going direct during the day is a big sticking point that I feel is related to this. This also ties into every other points that I make as essentially they are all tied to pushing your comfort zone.

* Befriend the Room - 'flow'
The concept of flow? At least this is how I view it, warm up sets are old school. Flow is about opening the entire room. As soon as you step in the venue open everything as you walk to your destination. That fuck off 10 mixed set, the two girls stood at the table on the right. The chode day dreaming on the edge of his social circle. The girl dressed as the fluffy bunny, you get the picture. This is this difference between 'sarging' and just being a social guy, the later trumps the former, at least in my opinion. It also forces you to open a completely different variety of social groups. Again, this pushes your comfort zone, it is easy to get into a habit of only opening groups of girl or '2 sets' because those are what you find easy. One of my best nights recently came from befriending chodes and throwing them in sets.

* Plow
Plow everything! From the opener, plow, going for the close, plow, isolation, plow, extraction, plow. My new mentality is if they don't tell me to A) "Fuck off" or B) physically push me away or slap me I'm staying in there. An example was last night, this girl was taking the piss out of our dance moves so I start chatting to her, to her dissatisfaction. She kept pulling faces at me of disgust and in a joking manner showed me the door. I stayed put, hip checked her, she complied, the claw was all up on her shoulder, kinoing, hugging. Even though I thought this girl hated me she never gave me any indication to 'go away'. So I stuck at it, eventually we won her friends over and it was all good vibes.

* Creativity
This is just an icing on the cake, just try and be more creative, not just in what you say to a girl but what you do. I know I have made excuses in the past and just 'dropped' the set or not really pushed it to its potential limit. My excuses blinded my creativity, I could have done something else, it doesn't even have to be outlandish. But just make sure your negative excuses don't cloud your vision and stop you from being creative.

Stockholm

2008-03-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

I've just come back from Sweden and need to heavily update this blog to include all the fun and realisations that were experienced out there. Traveling is important as it takes you out of the bubble that is your everyday life. I didn't realise how much it can have an impact on you until after this short break. One thing I definitely what to keep up is traveling to new places. The next stop is hopefully Prague, Czech Rep, in summer.

We were in Sweden for four days and I experienced a lot but also have a lot to go back and explore. The place we were staying was pretty funky, it was a converted prison that had been all refurbished. It was nice inside and they even slammed in flat screen TVs to top it off, we managed to find a bit of Emmerdale on there.

So what was Sweden like?

The place was really clean and the people generally quite friendly. I loved the vibe there it was pretty chilled out. We also noticed that all the kids we saw were well behaved and it was nice to get on public transport and not here some random grime track blasting out of a mobile phone's cheap speakers.

The women.... well I remember one of the guys saying once you get back to England you won't look at the girls the same. Now there are a lot of stereotypes of Swedish women, everyone makes them out to be all super models. From my experience I found that most of them were cute, they don't wear a lot of make up and are naturally pretty. You then get the few really hot ones and the few uglies. But where as in England they're a lot of mediocre girls, the sheer volume of at least cute girls in Sweden was astounding. Going out to meet women, very attractive ones at that, during the day was easily done. To put it in perspective, on our first day I saw two girls that looks wise were perfect in my eyes, a '10' so to speak. That is in one day, during the day! I might see one girl once every 3 months that fits that category back home and that would more than likely be on a night out. When it came to hitting up Stockholm on the night the girls in the city centre were smoking.

I wish we could have explored the night life a bit more, especially in the centre. We spent most of it in Slussen a place just on the outskirts of the centre. We did venture into the centre one evening but one of the boys forgot his ID so it made it hard to get in anywhere. We hit it up on the streets for a bit but the cold eventually got to us before we had to go back into Slussen and find somewhere warm to spend the rest of the night.

A lot of the fun came from the day time, I really came into my element during the day talking to loads of random hotties, going direct and just being a natural, cool, friendly guy. It worked well and shows me more than anything that I am more than capable of holding my own during the day especially now I'm back in the home land. I even number closed a cutie on the first day in Stockholm, just by pushing it.

We got to see some of the old town and visit a museum that had this old galleon, which was pretty cool. It wasn't all about the women, it was about going and experiencing another culture and country. We still managed to end up in some grimey limey location on the last night and the first person I met in Sweden was some Iranian taxi driver so somethings never change.

The word of the holiday was 'fatality'

a lot of 'banging breezies' got grinded and extreme back pained, but you know how we do. We got the photos to prove it. One thing that we also noticed about the girls out there was that they are quite direct. If they are into you then they'll let their feelings known, which makes things a lot easier, it is also pretty cool about having it out in the air rather than all sub communicated.

There was all sorts of other crazy shit that happened that would take ages to write down; dancing with hobos in the street, detective john kimble, saving girls from the machines, FAAAATAAALITY!, constant bombardment of the toilet, the kirby fusiliers and the urchins, free drinks from the DJ, the girl with the whip, the girl with the std on her lip, the milfs, topman, 15 krona hotdogs, stealing cups of tea, the SLR, H&M on every corner, those sexy ass Swedish accents and the rest...

I had an awesome time and would definitely do it again. I don't feel it has fully been 'done' yet.

Plateau; What's the Difference?

2008-03-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

I've noticed recently I have seem to reached a pivotal point in my 'game'. For a while now I have been going out sharing some good times with my mates meeting lots of cool and not so cool women and getting various random hook ups in clubs. The problem is to the person outside looking in, what I do might look quite flashy. Grabbing a girl who is walking by and going from not knowing her to tonguing her down is pretty impressive. However, I have been doing some thinking and feel I'm at a cross road. It could be quite easy to sit back and be happy with scoring make outs with random girls each night. You could settle for that and then occasionally when everything is 'right' get a lay from it. The truth is I'm starting to get bored of it, when I first started out just talking to a girl was like 'whoa!' then after a while getting make outs was like 'whoa!' now I'm in the same position again.

What does this signal?

This tells me I'm not really pushing my comfort zone, it's almost like a dual edged sword. On one hand pushing your comfort zone is painful, people generally hate doing it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. But on the other end of the scale, it is what makes this shit so exciting the feeling of unknown, doing something where you have no idea how it is going to turn out. I have identified a few key areas that I need to work on and try and get down in order to push past this point to the next level.

The points are as follows:

* Truly becoming a closer

I know when it is time to close and go for the make out I can do it, there is little hesitation. However, while this is a step to becoming a 'closer' I don't feel it is the complete package. Closing every set should be the frame, if not going for a make out, go for a number close, if no number, facebook. If you've made out and logistics are fucked up, you cannot extract or isolate, go for the number. I don't care if I know it will totally flake, its the actual 'act' of going for it that counts not the number itself. I'm getting something, even if it is some phoney ass digits or facebook because I pissed her off.

* Pushing the Comfort Zone

I have touched on this already, however to add some extra points. I just need to loose control a little more just chill out and not give as much of a fuck. Going direct during the day is a big sticking point that I feel is related to this. This also ties into every other points that I make as essentially they are all tied to pushing your comfort zone.

* Befriend the Room - 'flow'

The concept of flow? At least this is how I view it, warm up sets are old school. Flow is about opening the entire room. As soon as you step in the venue open everything as you walk to your destination. That fuck off 10 mixed set, the two girls stood at the table on the right. The chode day dreaming on the edge of his social circle. The girl dressed as the fluffy bunny, you get the picture. This is this difference between 'sarging' and just being a social guy, the later trumps the former, at least in my opinion. It also forces you to open a completely different variety of social groups. Again, this pushes your comfort zone, it is easy to get into a habit of only opening groups of girl or '2 sets' because those are what you find easy. One of my best nights recently came from befriending chodes and throwing them in sets.

* Plow

Plow everything! From the opener, plow, going for the close, plow, isolation, plow, extraction, plow. My new mentality is if they don't tell me to A) "Fuck off" or B) physically push me away or slap me I'm staying in there. An example was last night, this girl was taking the piss out of our dance moves so I start chatting to her, to her dissatisfaction. She kept pulling faces at me of disgust and in a joking manner showed me the door. I stayed put, hip checked her, she complied, the claw was all up on her shoulder, kinoing, hugging. Even though I thought this girl hated me she never gave me any indication to 'go away'. So I stuck at it, eventually we won her friends over and it was all good vibes.

* Creativity

This is just an icing on the cake, just try and be more creative, not just in what you say to a girl but what you do. I know I have made excuses in the past and just 'dropped' the set or not really pushed it to its potential limit. My excuses blinded my creativity, I could have done something else, it doesn't even have to be outlandish. But just make sure your negative excuses don't cloud your vision and stop you from being creative.

So that is basically it, the next stop is Sweden. This will be a nice break where I can relax and hopefully ironing out the creases in my game and just have an awesome time.

Time to step up!

On a side note some girl did an awesome cold read on me today, I'll post it up later on.

Here it is

Her:

well i think you are very confident especially with the ladies,

u ant the commitment type and would take a very special someone.

u have high standards and live 4 the moment

Me: lol, you're good

Tough Love

2008-03-02T04:54:00.001-08:00

You know sometimes you have 'one of those nights', where it is just not happening. I try not to judge nights any more, good or bad, as long as I am out, it is progression. Last night was one of those nights, I approached and kept hammering away at the shit but my state was up and down. The thing is the opportunities were there, plenty of hotties plenty of sets, one girl grabbed my balls for good sack. I just didn't see them through or was too apathetic and lazy. The thing is its all part of forming an habit going out and doing this shit. On nights like these it is like a slap in the face, a wake up call, especially if you have been getting complacent. You end up learning more about your game than the nights when everything goes in your favour.

Which kind of leads me on to my other point, even the other night when I had a 'good night' so to speak, hotties, makeouts etc I wasn't as 'excited' as I have been in the past perhaps it is was the same thing at play that I wrote about in my LR....?

Ok, I was just having a discussion with my wing about last nights activities. I came up with two main sticking points of mine and his. However, these sticking points are things that two other guys we know do not lack. They lack the opposite that we have, coolness, social, normalness, the ability to make a girl feel at ease and not get weired or creeped out.

It is almost like the Yin and the Yang. We lack what they have and they lack what we have, together we form like Voltron, or maybe not.

Our major sticking points are basic, the ability to open anything at any time, these guys really have balls of steel and never flinch.

The other one is the art of plowing, I am much better at it than I used to be but I still kind of eject a little early at times. I think the weirdness has probably helped them develop their plowing techniques as the girls are wanting to get rid of them straight away so they have no choice but to plow. Where as for us some girls open up right away and are completely receptive, so if we meet someone with a bit of resistance we are like ah fuck it, open another set because they might be more receptive.

The first sticking point probably would be remedied by the concept of 'flow'. Fuck knows where it comes from, but I got it off my good boy Flows. It is kind of like warm up sets, but instead of picking off the sets, bam, bam, bam, 1, 2, 3... you just flow from the first group of people you see to the next until you get to where ever you want to go. Regardless of how hard they are or how large or how small. Regardless of how hot or how ugly they are; just flow through them.

I think this concept is golden, it does two things; number one, gets you warmed up and into state. Number two, it gets you used to opening everything and everyone.

These things are what I am going to work on this Tuesday. I will re read this blog and then come back to it to see how I get on. The making out and isolation is covered, time to get back to basics and nail the fundamentals.

The Power of Now

2008-02-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

After seeing this recommended by RSD and seeing all their junkies absolutely praise this book I was a bit skeptical. However, it was on my reading list for some time, before the RSD junkies started crowning Tolle as their new saviour.

I thought it seemed pretty simple, 'don't think' thats it, but after reading the book it kind of gives you some insight into why our mind is always over active and little tips on how to stay present. It is an extremely easy read too and I love the way it is set out. However, the book does trail off towards the end and it is definitely not as amazing as all these guys are saying it is. Anyone who is familiar with meditation and eastern philosophy probably won't get as much out of it. I got quite a bit out of it, but it is definitely not a magic pill, essential reading; yes, but not any more so than say Tony Robbins.

So Tuesday night rolled around and I had a rare glimpse of being very present. I wasn't 'trying' I know in the past if I have experienced AA I have 'tried' to be in the moment but it was too late and I could not manage it for longer than a couple of seconds. On Tuesday I noticed that not only were I in the moment but I was a lot less 'hyper' than usual. Usually I get in state and I'm joking around with the boys and we all get quite hyper and rowdy; our state has been pumped up. But on this occasion I did not feel like that, but at the same time I did not feel tired, down, or drained. It was almost like I was just 'nice'; content, peaceful. This allowed me to walk around the venue and just express myself, my game was a lot less energetic, but did not take a knock. I tried to 'pump' myself up but it did not work, it was a weird sensation, the closest I have come to drawing my state from within. I noticed a lot more girls opened me too rather than me opening them.

The second thing I noticed was while my wing was chatting to a girl, I went to the bar and got some water. Walked away after getting my drink and just posted up against a wall. Now my mind was blank, I was just taking in my environment. In the past if I have been by myself I have felt a slight unease, an itch or panic to 'get in set'. But I was really content at just posting up and taking everything in. I did not feel anxious at all, sometimes your stomach is telling you you are anxious but your mind pretends everything is ok. But I really was content, I did not feel a rush or panic to jump in set. I chilled and waited then ended up opening a guy that was doing something crazy next to me.

It was an interesting experience, I have yet to feel the same as I did last Tuesday. But it was an insightful glimpse into how it feels when your state is drawn from within and you are completely outside of your head.

Shattering the 'Friend Zone'

2008-02-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

Ok, I completely just side stepped the big mofo of a barrier called 'The Friend Zone' like it was nothing. However, I learnt a couple of things in the process, had a realisation and experienced first hand some theory I had read about.

Background

I know this girl from an old job, she was kind of quiet at work and never really spoke unless I talked about going out and partying. After a few work night outs, me, her and another girl became good friends. We both ended up leaving the job around the same time, but we stayed in touch meeting every so often for drinks/lunch, bumping into each other on a night out or just talking on MSN.

She knows I go out and meet women regularly, in fact we often discuss social dynamics and male/female relationships. She tells me about the guys she fucks and I tell her about the stuff I get up to when I go out sarging. She does not know about 'game' per say, but knows I go out to meet women. We also talk about sex a lot, whether it be her telling me about her experiences or me telling her about mine. It has on occasion, if she has gone a while without sex, kind of turned sexual while we have chatted on MSN. But it has never been like 'yeah lets fuck' but more subtle hints, but she has always snapped back with a rational declaration of our relationship; friends.

"Anyway we're friends, I'd never cross that line" and things of that nature. This was always fine by me, I value her friendship, she has a nice body but her face is so so and I would say I was never particula rly attracted to her. This was never a me 'trying to get her' sort of flex as it's cool to have women friends and I was more than happy with going out and meeting new girls on a night out. So our relationship was purely platonic by choice.

Now I never thought the friend zone could be broken until I read something by Jonny Soporno. Now I'm not the sort of person to promote 'gurus' and methods, but he explains that the only reason a girl won't have sex with her guy friends is out of fear that they would become chodey, get attached, want something more and essentially ruin the friendship between them. This kind of made sense but I never really thought I'd ever try it out. Until now...

The girl, lets call her HBphoto for reasons you will see later, and I were chatting on MSN earlier in the week and she mentioned how she had seen this guy but he was a bit of a chode and the sex between them was not happening because he was having a few difficulties. This was frustrating her as she just wanted some sex as it had been a while and each morning she woke up feeling horny as hell.

So, the conversation was already sexual, she mentioned she was meeting another guy on Wednesday night for a date then the chode on valentines day, though she was unsure about both. We started talking about oral sex, I don't know how that happened and she was on about how she does not enjoy it and not many guys can make her cum. I started telling her about my experiences of receiving BJs from girls and how some were good and some were plain shit. She rose to the challenge and said she was good and could make every guy cum from oral. I ended up throwing down a challenge half jokingly; she tries to make me cum and I try to make her cum via oral only; the date, Friday noon.

She was like ok hahaha I'll win, reh reh reh, I told her to brush up her skills on the guys before and if she didn't get sex from either of them she sucked. "Even I'm not that bad" I said.

She was like omg, I'm meeting three guys in a row, 'x' on weds, 'x' on Thurs and you on 'fri'. Now, until this point I had been half joking, I've said shit like this before but never followed it through. Anyway, it came to Thursday and I asked how she got on with her date to the dude from weds she said he was a bit weird, but kind of hot. Nothing happened between them though. I wished her good luck for Valentines Day with the chode and said I'd see her on Friday.

Went out on Valentines Day and had an awesome night, Today rolled along and I went to meet her in town then went back to hers. Everything was normal but I was kind of still 'on it' from the night before. I made sure I was kinoing more than usual but not in a 'creepy' or 'weird' way but just enough to make sure if I escalated it would not be out of the blue.

She had prev iously mentioned how she had just bought some new lingerie, red and black and how she was taking photos for her oneitis. She also was filling me in on her date and how it didn't happen in the bedroom, he was a chode and she kind of told him it wasn't working between them, earlier today.

She showed me the picture she had taken in her new lingerie on her laptop, it looked pretty decent, but I suggested a few alterations, she also pointed out it was hard because the self timer was only 10 seconds long. I had a flash idea, I told her to go upstairs put on her lingerie and I'd come take some pictures for her. She was like... hahahaha... I plowed, she then agreed after finishing her tea.

She got ready and I went upstairs, her body was kind of nice, better than I had expected, her face is still 'eeeeh' so I was busting out my Rankin photo shots trying to give her direction.

"pretend brad pitt is behind me and you're trying to look sexy for him"

"work it baby"

I told her to take off her bra, promising I'd look away if she was too shy. She whipped it off and I draped a metallic sheer scarf around her neck and over her breasts. I could feel the tension, but didn't really go for the kiss as it still seemed a bit weird being a friend. With a random it doesn't matter if you piss her off she can keep on walking. If you do it with your friend you can make things awkward and weird between you.

For the finale I put the camera on self timer and stepped behind her holding onto her breasts. Titties from heaven, yeaaaah buddy!

Anyway, she started to get dressed and I start bringing up the challenge and how she couldn't make me cum etc. She was like

"What you really want to do it?"
"N o, we're friends, I that'd be crossing the line"
"Besides I need a drink to do it"

We go downstairs and look at the photos on her laptop, I'm thinking fuck I've blown it. But then It came into my head, I was just grabbing this girls titties, friends or not she did not object. I felt my spider senses tingling when I was putting the scarf on her, that's over a years worth of intuition telling me something. I then had the story from the Jeffy show in my head, where he jumps into bed with that girl like 'irrelevant, lets go, irrelevant, lets go, come on'.

She sent the pictures to my email account, I said I'd go get her a drink and asked her what she wanted;

HBPhoto: "A tea"

OD B: "Vodka then yeah?"

I got her a vodka and lemonade and gave it to her, it still wasn't happening, she had something to eat and was taking pussy sips from the small glass I gave her. I wasn't trying to get her drunk, just loosen her up a little. She had drank a quarter of the glass when I was like fuck it... stood up and was like

"come on lets go"

I grabbed her by the hand and lead her upstairs. As we were going upstairs I said to her that today does not count, this is just a one off. This is something again I got from Jonny Soporno, he always says that he is the guy that does not count if he beds a girl who is in a relationship. You know when girls are all together and they're talking about sexual partners... oh ODB... no he didn't count.

we sat on the bed and started making out. She then went down on me and vice versa, I ended up busting my nut. This had got her going, I had no intention of fucking her when I got there, I was happy to see the challenge through, but I had already got her going, so we carried on going at it until I started to fuck her. She was kind of noisy which honestly made me laugh so I stuffed my face in the pillow to muffle the sound. She couldn't kiss too good either and was also a bit tight. I wanted to slam the shit out of her porno style as the yelps and moans made me laugh, but she said it hurt. For the record I'm mr average, I ain't no Mr Porno dick either.

Afterwards, I stole a condom off her to replace the one I had in my pocket (I'm cheap). I noticed that there wasn't really a spark between us, at least I did not feel one. I was not super attracted to her, that was probably the reason. This was more about validation and a notch on the bed post than anything else. However, I learnt a lot, I learnt the art of plowing in a sexual situation first hand. Experience is always the best teacher, we all know times when we should plow but until you do it you never learn from it. I was all good with plowing when meeting a girl, but when it came to sex that was new for me. This was about being dominant and leading. I could have bitched out when I thought it would go no where, but instead I decided to plow like a mofo.

I also had a kind of realisation or a brain storm at least. While I was walking back for my bus, I realised I did not feel super buzzing like I have in the past after I had just got laid.. I mean I had to work just as hard for this shit, but I think it was because the sex was not really a 'big deal'. Ok, she wasn't super hot, but in the past I'd scored with none super hot girls and still felt buzzing from it. I thought to myself, this is what it should be like all the time. I felt calm, still, tranquil...

See to a guy who gets laid all the time, this is normal. Also imagine you score with some super model chick, If you're way too excited about the prospect, after the occasion, and leading up to it, chances are you're going to want it too bad, become needy, or get too excited/nervous and get a limp dick/bust too soon.

This shit came to me and I remember seeing some analogy on RSD about climbing the mountain until you get to the super hotties at the top. Some guys run into this game thinking they're going to get super hotties but they're really not internally built for that yet. I know, I've suffered from some of those things I mentioned in the past because of that.

Then I think about my natural friend, this guy scores hot girls all the time, he is so fucking blase about it all. Would he get all excited? No I don't think so...

Picture the scene, we're in a bar, this hot hot girl he knew from school wants to fuck him. Dude is like 'hmmm' I don't know. Me and my wing are jumping up and down like yooo! go fuck her man! what are you doing!.

We were more excited about the prospect than him. That is why he was in that situation and we weren't. He comes back from fucking her and is still just chilled, instead of filling us in about how and what he did with her, he moans at us because he had to walk so far to the takeaway. He points out that sometimes we 'try' too hard, where as he just sits back and waits. It's a kind of useless bit of information to a guy who is learning this shit but it makes sense at the same time.

Using no way as way. Using no limitation as limitation

Valentines Day

2008-02-15T02:34:00.001-08:00

For some reason or another this year Valentines day seemed even more commercial, the card shops the flowers, the balloons, everywhere. It is a big deal to girls and even some guys as it is the only time of year where seduction is in the air in the mainstream. Flick through any daily paper and they had some column about how to get the guy/girl you want, even at work the girls were asking 'are you on the pull tonight' when I mentioned I was going out. As I got ready I could not help to think how many chodey guys would be going out thinking 'tonight it is going to happen'. See, to me it was just like any other night, I did not want to treat it different because I did not feel it was any different, I roll up, spread my love all over the club and take it from there. From past experience having expectations of a place or event can be like shooting yourself in the foot. For the chode, there is immense pressure, this is the night where girls are all meant to be looking to 'hook up'. In reality, he just shoots himself in the foot because if he does not 'hook up' he has had a poor night, the emphasis is on the result rather than the enjoyment of the night.

In reality, I found it a little bit easier, but then again the vibe was just like any other student night. I ended up scoring 3 makeouts, two were solid and could have gone somewhere but shit happened to restrict it. I also knew of a disabled toilet in the venue that no one ever used and was unlocked which would have been perfect for an extraction.

The first girl I ended up making out with kind of just happened, I was waiting in line to have my face painted with UV paint, it looks cool, and I asked this girl if she was in line. We started shooting the shit and my spider senses were tingling. She walked away when I had my face done, so I clawed her back in, kissed her, I was kinoing very heavily and decided to isolate. So I grabbed her and lead her across the bar away from her friends. We started shooting the shit, she was a bit resistant to kissing me again but I plowed. An interesting thing happened, I thought she wanted to go because I had been kinoing heavily. So I let go of her for a bit, I expected her to go back to her friends, but she stayed and started asking me questions. Letting her go ended up being kind of a compliance test, she could have left at any point but she chose to stand there and talk. I ran the photo routine on her, we joked some more then Royal came in for no apparent reason. Her friend saw her surrounded by 3 guys, Sunnee was with Royal, and came to drag her away.

As soon as I left that girl another one rolled up on me trying to steal my glow band. I busted on her for already having one and said I 'might' give it her. We ended up making out, it was so on with this girl, again Sunnee tried to occupy her friend but she cockblocked sick. I later saw her again upstairs and started running it, getting really sexual, I needed to isolate but Royal could not hold her friend. She was rubbing her knee on my crotch. I really didn't know how to get rid of her friend. I think next time I going to try grabbing the girl and just walking away with them. These girls seem hell bent on cockblocking at times. The final girl was just a girl we had opened at the beginning of the night and I saw in passing, grabbed her and made out with her. They all seemed to have tongue piercings too which was awesome. I love that shit

So valentines day ended up being a good night, I think we are considering trying this venue again on a Thursday as it is usually busy, it'll give us a break of the monotony of the same places too.

The Takeaway and update

2008-02-13T13:43:00.000-08:00

So this is not really a post fully about takeaways but mainly a continuation of the last post. In the previous post I mentioned taking opportunities, recently I have noticed that on occasion I'll have a set where attraction is spiked and it goes well, but the interaction is brief. They are with their friend who is dragging them away, they were on their way somewhere but they verbalise to meet up or see you later on. Now I feel this is just 'leaving the set on a high note' manifesting its self in another form. I should be taking action and either making sure the friend does not walk off or making sure I close or continue the interaction.

What usually happens is they walk off and even though they may have completely wanted to hook up with you, in a busy club you won't see them again. That is why the only time to act is the present. It could work possibly if you were in a bar and wanted to bounce the girl to a club but you'd have to number close them. In my local town where there is only one club that everybody goes to, that method would probably work, otherwise be in the moment and act accordingly.

I've been reading the power of now recently and it is a good book there some nuggets of information. It is not a magic pill but just helps you understand how things work and more than anything be aware of the concept of being in the 'now'. I do not follow the hype it has generated in the community, it is a good book, it is not the holy grail. One concept which ties into this post is how the ego uses the concept of time, always manifesting itself in the past and the future. In this situation, one would leave the interaction on the high because of the chance that in the future you'll see the girl and carry on from where you left off. In reality the only time that matters is the now hen you have the opportunity to do what you need to do with the girl.

I recently contacted a girl i closed from the last report, it seems she was in a complicated relationship and now its settled. I thought i would be honest and tell hr I thought she was sexy as hell, she was, and if her relationship status changes to get at me. She still wants to see the pictures o us kissing though, random. It is a shame though as she was one of the more interesting girl i've met recently, however they'll be plenty more...

Opportunity knocks

2008-02-06T14:42:00.000-08:00

Last night was awesome! I had another fantastic night, I had been working until late due to a special even that took place so I met the guys straight after work and hit up Tiger Tiger. I was already in a talkative mood so got into the swing of things early on. It was one of those nights where everything is on; the nimbus was burning. I do not want to explain every detail of what happened so I'll try and just highlight the best parts.

The standard women that I was opening was consistently good. I had a decent set at the start of the night and pushed my luck with a girl who had a boyfriend. I think if I had seen her later in the night it would have been on. At the time she was 50/50 she kissed me but was like 'oh I really shouldn't be doing this". I got a random make out from a cute girl on the dance floor. Surprisingly a turbo girl who had immense breasts from a couple of weeks before remembered me as I came to wing Bilal, I have been trying to be more honest, especially with compliments so I gave her a sincere compliment about her breasts. She loved it, I pointed out that I understood she must receive a lot of vulgar comments directed at her because of them. This helped to distinguish me from all the other chodes.

Later in the night i saw a girl who we had opened earlier, it was her friends birthday and they had writing in pen on their shirts. The girl was on her way back to her friends, so I wrote 'Run The Train' on her back then signed her breasts. Then I did just that, she was reluctant at first but I plowed on and we started making out, I isolated her to a nearby chair, sat her on my knee and made out some more. I conversated too much and she got up and left, I should have gone all out for the extraction or even super direct. I'm sure she would have been up for it, her buying temperature was just at the right point.

I had another hottie which I ran the train on numerous times but had no luck. I saw her later and attempted to isolate but she tried bringing her friends with her. My wing said he should have jumped in, she was definitely on it but one of those girls that teases a lot, I'm sure if I had isolated and re-ran the train all would have been good.

The final make out came from a really cute girl, she was different looking and seemed individual as opposed to the carbon copy turbos. She had nice breasts, tight curly hair which she had a lot of, not too much make up, vanilla skin tone and a cute nose stud. This seemed effortless, make out ensued, facebook closed, she then had to go to the toilet as she had been holding it for a while. Not sure if I should have waited for her to come back, I didn't, I also should have got her number as I had developed a bit more of a connection with this girl it wasn't super faced paced flash game. She would have definitely been someone I would have considered extracting, living in Leeds would have made this a definite green light to try and extract.

Which leads me to wrap up the post. It seems as always that you really have to take your opportunities when they come. It sometimes comes down to a split second decision, then in hindsight you think of the perfect way to resolve the situation. Experience seems the best teacher, once you've become calibrated in these situations you don't even need to think, it's engrained in you to extract and seduce the girl. However, you must keep putting yourself in these situations to enable you to become accustom to it. The window of opportunity is usually only short in an interaction, therefore thinking too much or being completely alien to the situation can cause you to miss it. This is something I need to bare in mind whenever I isolate.

Day Watch

2008-02-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

While going out and meeting women on an evening is common, it is not the only place you can meet them. Generally, night time is preferred mainly because they're all out to have a good time and there are so many of them. However, there are some absolute stunners who only seem to venture out during the day. You can find them every where, walking down the street, book shops, coffee shops, clothes shops. The advantage is during the day they're not with their cockblocking girlfriends and their defences are down, also guys rarely cold approach during the day so you show brass balls by being different. It seems most guys have a preference, they prefer doing day game or night game. Day game seems to be an art in itself, most guys have solid night game but I've met very few who really have day game nailed.

One of them who has a good grasp of it is my friend Royal, I went out with him the other day and we ended up talking to these two girls in the Victoria Qtr. Afterwards, we started discussing day game. He told me something very important which hit the nail on the head for me. You see Royal has this awesome ability to come up with humorous one liners off the top of his head, he ploughs during the day and generally seems to do everything but close, although he's even starting to do that now. We've all quizzed him and he usually gives us random advice. But the other day was the first time I really went 'ah ha'.

You see it everyone always distinguishes the two, Royal believes there is no day and night, but just 'game'. Sounds simple huh? I commented about how it's different during the day, but he pointed out that 'game' is the same it is the person that is different. During the day you have your work head on or you're going shopping, you're focusing on other things where as you should do exactly the same as you do on a night out.

So on Sunday I did just that and noticed my opening rate sky rocket, it was that simple. Ok, during the day people will not tolerate your high energy antics as much, but you soon calibrate and learn what you can and cannot get away with. Personally, I'd rather open more and be over the top and then calibrate it down than think I have to game a different way, struggle and not open at all.

I always try and open on my lunch breaks while I'm at work, I'm going to take this mindset and run with it and see how it develops.

Project Isolate

2008-01-27T14:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, this weekend has been a bit of a mixed bag. First of all I learnt first hand about being non-reactive and not buying into a woman's frame. I have been texting a girl for a while now however, I lead a pretty busy life, especially with all the travelling I do at the moment so sometimes I forget to reply the text messages I receive. Now this girl I mentioned in my previous post got really emotional on Friday night because I had not been replying to her until late on an evening. She questioned whether it was a good idea for us to meet up. This pissed me off, I must admit I was annoyed because she was trying to punish me for leading a busy life. If I wanted checking up on I would have got a girlfriend. However, I knew if I sent her a reply with my argument it would have gone round and round in circles. Instead I opted for a straight simple;

Ok, text me when you're feeling better.

She later text me back apologising about being a knob. It all blew over, I admit I had to restrain myself, but deep down I knew it would be wrong and the way forward was to keep it simple and let her get over her own shit.

Saturday night was awesome, I pulled 3 different girls, my nimbus was burning, everyone around me was enjoying themselves. We tore the place up. However, I noticed that I did not isolate the girls I made out with. I should have gotten one girls number for sure, but never followed it up. Making out with girls is second nature now, I just do it the same way I just open girls. But isolating im not quite there yet, so from now on 'project isolate' is in action, I try and isolate every set.

Simple...

Great Expectations

2008-01-20T09:28:00.000-08:00

This weekend I had an awesome time, we went to karaoke with the guys and spent two hours just busting jokes. However, earlier on Saturday I had been conversating via MSN with this extremely freaky girl. I had been put onto her by a friend, he gave me her email address, told me not to mention him but said I would like her. Anyway I decide to hit it up and do my usual thing, now online 'game' is not really my cup of tea, it is a bit long winded and as I am an impatient buggar I tend to grow bored. I also feel there are a lot of girls online who are just there to receive validation from chodey guys . So this girl has a good body and a skater girl look to her, however she sends me these videos and stories that really got me amped up. We're planning to hook up in a couple of weeks I'll let you know how that goes down.

All the sexy stuff the skater girl had sent me got me pent up, I was ready for Friday night, like a Godzilla ready to tear apart a city. The karaoke got us in the mood I was hyped, however I was on some extreme mission. It was like tonight I had to close, such expectations lead to great disappointment. My state was awesome until some random fucker threw an ice cube at my head in Revolution. Now, it sounds funny, I looked around I could not see the culprit. No one was sniggering, or pointing or looking like they wanted to beat me down. As I write this I'm pissing myself at the image of me being hit by an ice cube on the back of my head. There and then, it was a different story....

I was mad, I wanted to hurt somebody, I do not know if the caffeine was effecting me, I seem to get aggressive when on it. But this messed up my head, add in the pressure on myself to 'close' and it was a bit of a let down. I found myself 'trying' to get back into state, which is always going to be an up hill struggle.

The key is to have no expectations, do not 'want' something from women, just go and have fun. Entertain yourself, when you're interacting with women you are not 'gaming' them because that implies you want something from them. The night could have been an absolute train wreck, it was still a good night, however, by realising the pressure I put myself under I now know I was just shooting myself in the foot.

Take the Lead

2008-01-13T14:19:00.000-08:00

Today's topic is on taking the lead and physically escalating. I have been very conscious of both recently, the last two nights have seen me progress in these departments. I've come to realise just how much importance they play in attracting women. It's not until you sit down after a night and think about the things that happened, that you realise just how important those things are.

The last two nights have been good and set the standard for the year. Take Tuesday night, verbally I don't feel I did much different to what I have been doing in the past. So I can only account it to my leading and escalation. Taking girls by the arm and leading them to different areas of the club, being more dominant verbally. Not asking but telling girls "let's get out of here", although you do not even need to say anything just grab the girl and lead. The second time I did not verbalise at all, I just lead the way and she followed.

Last night again, although I did not have as much success I still felt on. The claw was unleashed and in full effect. This was coupled with a dominant, well projected "Hey" followed by "Who Are You?" It worked beautifully, even if they were out of reach and the claw slipped off the shoulder, the dominant "Hey" was enough to get them to come back and introduce themselves.

Again, last night I isolated the same way by leading the girl. I also met a little hottie who was attached, however, physically I'm so used to escalating I did as I usually do. Ran the train multiple times, after ditching the gimmicky eyelashes trick. A strong, sincere SOI is a good way to start the trains journey.

"I cannot help it, you are just too sexy"

I just kept going for it, regardless of getting a cheek or a hug a few times. She eventually went with it and we shared a brief kiss before she freaked out because my friends were behind her. However, I pinned her against the wall later in a kind of cheeky, seductive way. She was most definitely on it, most of the attraction had been amped by just being physical and dominant. I barely said anything fancy or revolutionary, if anything at all. I am sure if I had continued to escalate physically, lead her away from her friends and kept a dominant frame I could have taken things even further with the girl.

Unfortunately my ride was leaving, I had work in the morning and had to leave too. But tonight, a very solid lesson was learnt.

One Crazy Ass Night

2008-01-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

I just checked my diary and yesterday was apparently a full moon. This actually makes sense as I had myself one crazy ass night, which was entirely down to some crazy ass people. I was never planning on going out; it was 8 o'clock and my friend had some how persuaded me to join him even though I had to be up at 6:30 in the morning. But something inside me replied to the text message confirming I would be attending the evenings activities.

The location was Tiger Tiger, student night, however it was kind of quiet as not all the students were back from the Christmas holidays. We got straight into it as usual joking around with some girls that were dressed up as cave women. I spy a redhead, who tries to convince me that her hair is in fact purple (wtf?) anyway I hit her hard, not literally, with the 1, 2 combination. She is against the ropes already and I'm copping a feel of her luscious mammaries. She scoots off to find her friends as we continue to party.

By the time we've checked out the rest of the bar the redhead is coming back, hand in hand with her chums. She rolls up on me and starts dropping it like it's hot, dancing all erotic, grinding up on me. I don't need any more of an invitation and proceed to make out with her, a little more dancing and realise that her friends could be a problem. I grab her by the hand a move her to another part of the club, prop myself up against the wall, cue more tongue down action. Now this girl can move, I'm already doing better than usual when I get a make out by actually isolating. She is rubbing all up on my loins and it's getting H-O-T, I ask her where she is staying and she informs me that she is in fact staying over at a hotel near by. I go for the extraction....

"Let's get out of here"
"I want to party, I'm a party girl"
"You can party later, lets go"
"No I wanna dance"
"We can come back, we have stamps"

I should have been more relentless, or just grabbed her hand a lead, but we ended up going back to the group and it fizzled out.

However, the night was not over.... I ended up unintentionally opening a girl who I had spoken to briefly a month back. The last time we met, she was cold, her friend was cool, I like her friend, according to this girl her friend liked me. But she had some sort of vendetta against me, on our previous encounter she did not like my scarf. Tonight she did not like me, full stop. She was bitching and moaning about what I was saying to her friend. She kept on going on and on and on and on.... every where I went... SURPRISE!

She ran up on me probably for the third time, this time I managed to call a truce and give her a hug, she then started kissing on my neck and telling me I smelled nice? Ok... this was one crazy girl! She looked up at me, gazed into my eyes and told me I was gorgeous! I politicked with the girl for a brief moment on her new found attraction for me, then ran the train. We kissed a few times, before she was repossessed by the crazy banshee. I went in for another kiss and she tried to knee me in the balls! Lovely girl.

Tonight I unleashed a new opener... UMBONGO!

I spent most of the night sat down calling girls over then asking them about umbongo. This was THE shit. I mean, who doesn't love umbongo, I even gave them bonus points if they could recite the theme tune. This is further proof that when you're on you can literally turn ANYTHING into an opener, no matter how retarded it may seem.

I'm standing about with my friends, minding my own. This girl rolls up on me asking me how I know her. I kind of remember talking to her before, many months back. I have an awesome memory when it comes to faces so I pointed out who she was with that night. One of the people she had been with when I met her last was her boyfriend..... now ex boyfriend..... because of me!

"I blame you"

She kept muttering. It turns out that I had asked if her breasts were real, when we met last. Her boyfriend kind of joked about taking my side. She did not like that at all and dumped him shortly afterwards because he did not stick up for her. I found this all kind of strange and crazy as hell that not only had I bumped into her again but I had played a key role in demolishing her previous relationship. It was not something I was particularly championing, but hey! shit happens. We carried on catching up and she was kinoing me pretty heavily, I cannot remember at what particular point it happened, but my spider senses started tingling. You know that time, when you're with another person and something tells you it is time to kiss them, that is your spider sense.... tingling. Most people ignore it or crumble under the pressure. The longer you leave it or if you start to question it the harder it becomes to go for the close. Needless to say I pulled the trigger... she was not having any of it and kept turning her head. I wanted it, 'she' wanted it so I waited.

I met her sister briefly and more friends, this was not a good situation as I had been on my own with the girl more friends equals more potential cockblocks. I lead her away from the group after they decide to go get drinks. We wander off and sit in a corner, bang! It's on! She is like a wild beast uncaged, literally all over me. We made out heavily for a few minutes, until I got a text from my friends who were wanting to leave. I had work the next morning and had to be up early. She had other plans, she wanted me to go home with her. DAMN! It burns... I tried figuring if it was logistically possible to go to this girls get back to Leeds then back home and then off again to work. It most definitely wasn't. She was really upset I had to leave, we exchanged numbers, I was kicking myself as I had ran out of options in my mind. I left the girl with plans to meet her on Saturday evening, however, whether it will materialise is another question.

Any other way of playing it.... answers on a postcard

But an awesome, if not crazy start to the new year.

F.E.A.R

2008-01-06T12:04:00.000-08:00

I learnt a few things yesterday and came to realise them today after watching the video above. I've always been a big fan of Michael Jordan, I played a lot of basketball when I was younger so I've always had a love for the 'game' so to speak. But it was not until a friend recommended Jordan's book Driven from Within that I really started joining the dots between success in his game to success in this game. Driven from Within is an essential read, there is no doubt about it, everything that is written in there is gold. You can take his attitude and work ethic and apply it to anything and you will get results.

I stumbled upon this video earlier this morning and after watching it a few times I thought about a recent RSD newsletter I had read and the random phone calls I had been making the day before. Let me explain...

I recently received the book 'the rules of the game' for christmas, so I decided to participate in the stylelife challenge that takes up the first half of the book. It's something I do on my lunch breaks when I'm at work, even the most basic stuff is still worth doing. In the third mission you are required to ring up random strangers until you get some movie recommendations. So after about 40 calls and 2 escorts later I finally got a recommendation. However, I noticed that at the start of the task I was feeling quite nervous, in the same way when I'm out before I approach for the first time I'm feeling nervous. By the time I had made 20 calls I did not care any more, by this point I had still not received a recommendation so I decided to call an escort for one, just for shits and giggles.

After the exercise I realised that the process of phoning complete strangers was no different to approaching them. You start off nervous, you do a few approaches, get warmed up and then before you know it you're in the zone.

So how does the RSD newsletter come in to play? Well, earlier on Saturday I had been reading the ones I had missed. One particular letter told the story of jeffy's cat going missing. He was afraid she would not make it as she was a lazy cat, but to his surprise the cat had been hiding at his neighbours. When he told his neighbour about his concerns that his cat may have not been able to fend for it's self and hunt for food, he found out that the cat had come into it's own and actually caught a few birds. The point of the story was that even though his cat had become domesticated, lazy and idle, it was still hard wired to hunt. Just as we are hard wired to approach women, men have been seducing women for thousands of years, but society has made us become lazy. However, that ability is still hard wired, it is in our genes, as Jeffy pointed out.

Going back to the video, like Mike we all get nervous at the beginning of the night but once we've popped those first few sets; it's show time! MJ goes back to his routine, back to what he practised every day, he has complete confidence in what he does on the court. This is the same when approaching women, if you are out there regularly, you have done it thousands of times, it is no different. Even if you have never approached before, remember you're hard wired to do this. This alone should give you the confidence to be more creative, try new things and step up, night after night. Once you have those warm up approaches under your belt you know things will just start happening, you do not need to think, things become natural. But it is crucial you start talking to people early other wise you won't find that rhythm and you'll still have those pre game nerves.

2008; Year of the Turbo

2008-01-02T06:43:00.001-08:00

2008 is upon us and while I sat gripping the toilet bowl, vomiting the contents of the previous night's shindigs, I pondered on what the new year might bring. I know everyone at this time of the year are making resolutions, resolutions that will be forgotten by the time April swings around. Personally I don't bother, I have my own set of goals that I'm constantly working towards and I'll continue to do so in 2008. However, I will amend these goals, have a good look at them and consider which ones need crossing off or modifying. The only main resolution me and my wing have come up with is to move out by summer. This year, I will become 100% fully independent and in doing so become more of a 'man' so to speak.

I would also like to use this post to clarify the term 'Turbo Girl'. I originally heard the term from Jeffy, on RSDwiki they state;

A Turbo Girl is just a total Hottie, who frequents Clubs and Bars.

She is characterised by being extremely pretty and hot, often wearing skimpy or scantily clad clothing, while at the same time having a limited attention span. This is where the 'Turbo' aspect comes from.

She is sought after by all the guys in the club, and is the trophy to take home for a One Night Stand. Turbo Girls are the epitomy of Night Game.

Turbo Girls are the evolution of Glitter Girls.

Make from that what you wish, but keep in mind RSDwiki is editable by the public. On the other hand, me and my wing kind of made up our own definition of a Turbo Girl. We still don't always agree when one of us spies one, that is the problem when you start rating and labelling women, but that is another topic of discussion. Generally, 8 out of 10 times we do agree....

When we say Turbo Girl we are referring to the type of girl who looks like a WAG or wannabe. Liverpool is like Turbo City, that place is the capital of turbo's. They usually are pretty stylish and know how to make the best of what they have. Most of the time they are pretty hot, at least in my opinion, however, some of them are great at giving off the perception of being hot. But, when you actually see them up close they are pretty much average looking. Fake tan and designers labels are common as are extensions and false nails. Although the ability to make oneself more attractive through the use of style is the trademark of the turbo.

Bare in mind, I don't put these girls on a pedestal and turbo does not automatically make them hot. In fact most of the girls I've seen who match my 'perfect girl' so to speak weren't even turbo's. However, being out with guys I've noticed most kind of omit turbo girls when approaching. Even when discussing with the guys from Liverpool they commented on how bitchy the turbo's are, in reality I never found that to be the case. It seems guys just seem to be afraid of them because of the turboness they emit.

Anyway random turbo specific openers we've used in the past... 'the turbo opener'

"Hi Turbos" while waving re tardily

"Are you a turbo?" They usually give you a bamboozled look, before they can respond, 'shift sands'

In tune to the backstreet boys 'that way'

"You are..... a tur-bo
turbo..... yes you are"

Anyway, I hope this helps you to understand what I mean when I say 'Turbo Girl.

Just Close!

2007-12-30T12:03:00.000-08:00

This is something I've been thinking about for a while now and it just so happened to emerge again recently after having a discussion with a friend of mine.

Two words.... 'Just Close'. So simple but often we try and over complicate it. My sticking point at the moment is pretty much handling logistics. I can get to making out with a girl pretty consistently however after that I usually loose my head or loose it in some other manner. At this point all I have to do is handle logistics. For some time I was too focused on getting the make out that when I got it, it became 'game over'.

Now I realise I'm in the same position as before, but instead of not going for the make out I'm not going for the extraction or isolation.

Sometimes we get too concerned with the little bits, when infact the simplest advice is necessary 'just close'. Ok you came up with a funny opener, did you close... no? close!... Ok, you made the girls laugh or kept them entertained, did you close... no? JUST CLOSE!

A lot of the things we do really are pointless unless you end up closing, it doesn't matter if you opened with some highly original and funny if don't close, 'Hi' could have served the exact same purpose.

Only today I heard somebody waxing lyrical about another guy but when I asked 'Did he close?' the response was no. See it's all well and good hearing cool new shit and funny stories but I want to be meeting guys with that closer mentality.

My wing's friend who is now one of my friends is a pretty decent natural, his game is boring to watch. In fact you could sit there and listen to him and barely get any noticeable 'verbal' game. But this dude gets laid consistently, he is a closer, he attracts women because his internals are correct. He says something and people do it, he goes some where and people follow. This is the sort of guy you want to be hanging with; a sex worthy guy, because that closer mentality is the difference between knowing the path and walking it.

P.S you don't want to be that chode in the picture standing there watching his mate hook up, remember folks JUST CLOSE!

Whats Your Style?

2007-12-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

Today I was asked by a friend of mine ...

"What are you doing at the moment?"

Essentially he meant "what's your style?" or "what's your method?" This is something that often comes up, especially when talking to guys that go out meeting women infrequently or who are relatively new to this. It is something I have struggled with myself, I started out very linear and rigid. Do step 1, ok, now step 2, now step 3 and so on and so on. I then tipped the scales to the other end and did the opposite; 100% improv, all off the top of head. I thought this was the answer, however I was stilled concerned with fitting into a box and conforming to a style.

You see there seems to be certain trends that emerge, just like anything else. People jump on the band wagon until something new comes along and then do the same with that trend. It's no different here, one minute people are labelling their style 'canned' 'indirect' 'natural' 'direct' 'shock n awe'. But it's not the actual effectiveness or practicality they argue about, but the label it's self.

Recently I've been coming from the frame of I don't really care what style it is I'm running other than a) it's consistent at getting results I want and b) it's me. My style is 'me'.

As Bruce Lee points out you must honestly express yourself, with out lying to yourself (ego).

"Styles tend not to only separate men - because they have their own doctrines and then the doctrines became the gospel truth that you cannot change. But if you do not have a style, if you say: Well here I am as a human being, how can I express myself totally and completely? Now, that way you won't create a style, because style is a crystallisation. That way, it's a process of continuing growth"

This sums up my mentality perfectly, I just go out and do me, express myself and then learn from what I do wrong and keep what works. Some people don't like that as they like it to be all laid out for them, they see that as a quicker route, but one still has to put in the work.

Ultimately I guess there is a 'Jeet Kune Do' of 'game', which my journey has eventually led me to. One could argue that 'naturals' run this type of game all the time, they don't have a 'method' or a 'system' they just go out and do them. You could even go as far as to say the age old advice of 'just be yourself' is valid to some degree. Anyway this is all thoughts in progress... so I shall leave you with another quote.

"Jeet Kune Do favours formlessness so that it can assume all forms and since Jeet Kune Do has no style, it can fit in with all styles. As a result, Jeet Kune Do utilises all ways and is bound by none and, likewise, uses any techniques which serve it's end"

The Place I Call Home

2007-12-23T13:46:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you have to push yourself, you have to create a habit
until that habit becomes a part of you.

I've been going out and meeting women now 3-4 times a week for some while now. If a week goes by and I've not been out it seems odd. Last night, for the first time I almost gave it a miss. But that guilty feeling it leaves when I contemplate it forced me to change my mind. See I knew I'd have been cheating myself and even if I went out for 30 minutes and spoke to one person it would have been movement in the right
direction.

And so out me and my trusty accomplice went... It was a fun and merry evening. Many a buttock was slapped and caressed, many a girl merry with the joy the festive season brings.

One girl who was visiting from Bradford seemed rather into me, I remember leaving and discussing how I easily could have taken it further rather than leaving it with a kiss.

Sometimes I find myself contending between my standards and logistics. See, we were debating about our living conditions (both still live at home). Now I pointed out that if I had my own apartment, preferably city centre I would have gone full out and gone for the extraction. However, it seems unless the girl is above average, looks wise, then I won't make the effort with the less than convenient logistics.

This is something I need to ponder and possibly reconsider. If I cannot make the effort with an average girl, when I want to 'make it happen' will I fall flat on my face?

A New Beginning...

2007-12-21T14:40:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome...

To the daily journal that details the life of an aspiring 'playboy'. A 'player', 'casanova', 'pua' 'ladies man' or which ever synonym you choose.

But ultimately... the daily journal of a 'man'.

"Why is it that when I see a woman in a short skirt my head turns?
Even if I'm not attracted to her when I see her face... it's like... I'm
hard wired to respond to that shit..."